So can you marry You? You are about to have a lasting answer for that. On this page? Get Set? Read on!
To say it as it is, love is sweet. Love is magical and a world of untold wonders.
Love is worth dying for (don’t be senseless about this, please). Love is worth fighting for (Don’t fight anyone with a weapon. Don’t even do any fight!). Love is worth waiting for (Make sure it’s worth the wait).
Let me advise you… Don’t read this post without sharing on Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. It will mean that you’re selfish.
So let’s roll.
Over the years, you see many people jump at the question above. They say, “Yes, I can marry myself” because they are the best another person can ever have as a partner.
As I speak, some are on the path to finding someone with the same character traits and mental strength as they have.
However, the ill-equipped people already see the potential danger inherent in marrying a version of themselves so they say a Big No to the question.
No matter where you belong on this school of thought, be ready to have your mind enlightened today. I can guarantee that.
Set… Tape rolling… Action!
I once heard the story of a couple who broke up over the use of toothpaste.
One said, “In our home, we press it from the middle”. The other said, “In our home, we press it from the extreme end”.
Since they could not cope with individual’s differences or at least buy separate toothpaste, they had to part ways.
It was like they both said, “if you can’t agree with me on this little thing, we can’t stay together under the same roof. Let us depart.” So they did.
Until now, many people are still going about with their family’s customs that are fraught with idiosyncrasies.
When they are ready to go into any relationship, they make sure it’s with the person that will worship such customs.
Should I tell you mine? Continue reading!
I am from a royal family where women are called “slaves”. As I write, they still call them “slaves” in functions.
Worst still, many of my cousins make people call them princes but I would not let that get into my head.
In those days, they would go carry a lady on their shoulders, bring her home to her proposed husband and that sealed it.
They just would not do anything in a woman’s favour. You marry them for any reason that best suits you.
My late dad married five wives – my mom the first. What would he be doing in the kitchen?
Even if he didn’t care how and what my siblings ate, he must be served.
The emotional distance between my mom and him, for instance, was like the distance between Usain Bolt and a paraplegic in a race.
That notwithstanding, I stayed with my elder brother for years. My younger brother still stays with them (as at the time I wrote this post), and we relate with the wife as with a sister.
My younger brother would cook many times and would help in many other things our custom does not bow to.
My half brothers and cousins would not do that. Customs taught them to use women as “near-slave” people.
You would not find them in the kitchen with their wives, neither will you see them do any chores at home.
But… Exposure and education changed me, changed my siblings too! I outgrew the nonsensical culture and custom. I bid farewell to their ways of life.
Amazingly, I do any sensible thing with my wife. Many times, I wash her undies, clothes, and do the dishes. I don’t just cook because I’ve lost my training on that – I’m still looking for my training, gastronomically.
Wait, Let us Talk About You
This is the 21st century and, obviously, things are not like they used to be. You will only be the worst of defeatists if you are still swimming in the ocean of your family’s customs!
My friend, you have to learn Anew!
Did you hear that? Good!
Now Let us Talk About Why You are Here
I asked the question below on WhatsApp:
If you have version of yourself as another gender, will you love to marry him/her?
Simply put, “Can you marry yourself?”
Either yes or no, tell me why.
Before Jack Robinson’s call, answers were rolling in. In the end, I was able to get exactly what I wanted.
I was able to know that a lot of people are still far from the ideology of love in a Relationship.
I gathered all the answers and they will be accessible to you down this page.
But before I give you those, let me say some few words to your heart.
I should rather say, let me answer the question myself.
So Olalekan Adebumiti, Can You Marry Yourself?
No! Because I am already married to my wife. Lol.
Let me come again…
No, because it would not have been a wise thing to do.
Here is why…
In my next book (Coming out next year) I am going to teach on 3 types of people you will see in Romantic Relationships.
They are The Complimentary, The Complementary, and The Compliementary.
Complimentary from the words compliments and comply.
This type of people are those who see themselves as the best person anyone can have.
They are the “I want someone that will take me for who I am” type. They are lazy, not well cultured, unreasonable and want someone with the same level of stupidity.
When they are planning to go into a relationship, they want someone that will copy their lifestyle: They want the other person to share the same philosophy of life with them. They want the other person to have their taste.
So if you have answered “Yes, I can marry myself”, that might be where you belong.
Let me tell you a secret about me, but you have to promise me you won’t tell more than 77 people.
Promise? Okay… Here is it.
1. I boasted of 3 hours of sleep on a daily basis, on the average.
2. The last thing on my mind whenever I woke up was food. That means, I could spend the whole day not thinking about food.
Whenever I was working, I would envisage getting married and having my wife would be preparing delicacies to my soul’s delight. I did err on that! You are not getting married to a cook!
3. I could stay alone for a month. In fact, I loved staying alone since I was a teenager.
4. I made sure I did not have varieties. I fought allergies and denounced favourites. I ate everything available. I did everything possible.
Well, I will advise you to borrow my idea of the varieties. You know why?
You will have a home of trouble of you grow hatred for some types of foods. What if your spouse will love the foods you hate?
Again, I would not want you to be blind to varieties. Lol. You know why? Your spouse, especially a wife, will occasionally want you to state the food you want for the family. Imagine you saying… Ehm.. You know I don’t have a favorite.
Bottom line: Be flexible. Be dynamic. Be wise enough to learn a lot and be willing to adapt to a change.
Fast forward to a Romantic Relationship…
Imagine meeting a lady who has the same strength. A lady that can stay all day without thinking of what to eat. Then she could go all night with no sleep. Again, she can stay indoor for weeks…
If I had met such, I probably would have chorused “Oh, we are compatible!”
Fast, Fast forward to Marriage…
Having such a lady as my wife will mean zero social life for the family, We would go hungry all day and that would create a great problem when children come in.
Remember the sleeping hour? That also will create a great deal of health problems for us both. We would pack off suddenly!
So, instead of you to fall in love with someone that “compliments” you, know exactly what they are complying with.
If it is something that can ruin your future, run for your life.
Seriously, it is not wise to looking for someone that likes all you like.
There need to be varieties and spices in your life. Don’t settle for someone that will limit you to your self-acclaimed horizon.
No,don’t get me wrong.
You can still go for someone who loves what you love… But be sure those qualities are not detrimental.
Look for a balanced person. Okay?
That’s a little about the Complimentary Person.
Complementary from the word Complete.
This type of people will say, “I’m sorry, I can’t marry myself”.
Did you ask Why?
They are the set of people who see some inhibitions in their lives and will be looking for someone that can help manage them, until death do them part.
1. He is very aggressive, so he will be planning to get a lady that is very cool.
2. She knows she can’t cook, so would love a guy who can.
3. He knows he is a poor manager and so would love a woman who is a good manager.
I’m sure you know many other examples…
It is common to hear a lady say, “I just can’t explain this. The love is divine. His love is killing me softly. I am totally lost in his world. Oh, heavens! This guy is all I ever wanted in a man. Before I fell, he already raised me up. Before I could grope in my tunnel, he provided flood lights. He is the life jacket for any occasion of drowning and an extinguisher for any fire outbreak. For every poison I choose to drink, he has got the fail-safe antidote. In fact, he is my insulator against any electric shock”.
So you go about causing troubles and are happy someone is there to cover your mess? Is that you? Quickly cover your face…
And let’s have a minute silence for your common sense. Yes or Yes?
So what’s the problem with this type of a Lover?
They will only be attracted to someone who can help cover their inhibitions (their limitations). Often times, this category of people can love a person for the complementary part and be blinded to the person’s inhibitions also.
They used to say, “Love covers all”. Since he is doing what I want in a relationship, I will only focus on that and not mind his faults. I’m sure you know that is foolhardy.
She loves him because he makes her smile but didn’t know he is a “serial heartbreaker”. He loves her because she can “cook for Africa” and would not care that she has lost every sense of a virtue.
Now imagine if you don’t have that thing you want someone else to help you with; Would you still want to date that person you are dying for?
The answer is… No!
So instead of you to be looking for someone that can help you cover up your excesses and inhibitions, it’s very wise that you deal with them yourself.
Do you understand that? Oh, yes. Let’s move on to the third category.
Compliementary from both comply and complete.
This type is the worst of all: they are as confused as their own shadows.
When you ask this type of people what they don’t like in a Relationship, they will tell you all.
In fact, they have many laid down rules, such that you must not break if you want to have a place inside their “one room apartment heart.”
Funny enough, ask this type of people what they want in a relationship and they will tell you they don’t know: they can tell you many turnoffs but don’t know what makes them tick!
If you belong to this category, please hit your head against the wall painted green and purple 77 times. Once that is done, slap yourself 321 times and a half. After that, sleep for seven days. I am sure the day you wake up, your mind would have been formated.
No, that’s just a joke. Don’t do it.
But it means a lot of things is wrong with you. You need a greater help beyond this page.
In conclusion, be very sure you know exactly what you need in a relationship, knowing fully well that what you need might not be what you want. Don’t let your family’s custom and background limit your chances of getting the best.
Love is a wonderful thing, don’t get it twisted. Mwah!
“Keep this in mind: Great Relationships do not come by tips but by years of knowledge.”
(Click Here to Contact Me on WhatsApp). You can also use +2348032503305
So far so good, you’ve known if it is wise to marry a version of yourself or not. So I desire a feedback: you just want to commend the post? Do you see something you will love to grasp the more? Or you need a bothering question? Use the comment box.
Seriously, I need a feedback from you.
(And don’t forget to share this post. Yes, share it.)
As promised… See the Answers given to the question.
To skip the answers to where you’ll drop a comment just click this link.
Gorata: Yes. because I am what I would want in a man ,I’m not perfect but when it comes to a relationship, I can be.
Toyin: Yes I can marry myself.
Timor: Yes because I believe in my self. I’m a perfect lover.
Abbey: No. Coz its impossible.
Augustine: Yes. I’m understanding. I’m patient.
Ciamthanda: Yes because at the end of the day u need to build a family.
Rushforth: No. Cause it’s just she is tailor made to suit me.
Michael: Yes… Because men bring comfort, and they are like a father.
Donald Zimbabwe: Yes cause I love myself.
Elsa: No. I wouldn’t marry myself. Coz I’m not ready and I’m sure that I’m not mature enough for that. I don’t care much about things.
I’m just not ready.
Sandra: Yes. I know what’s best for me.
Prajakta: Yes, because I am a frank and bold person. So my counterpart will be the same if it’s my version. Being frank is very important in a relationship. I am trustworthy too. So the better half of mine will be trustworthy. That’s what I have got to say.
Jason: Yes, I will marry him if he loves me and respect me the way I deserve.
Olalekan Adebumiti: Because you think you will respect the other person the way he deserves too?
Jason: Very much.
Justice: No. It’s because there are strengths and flaws in my life that need another person who has remedy or can assist me on that part. But if I got a person with the same strength and flaws, how can we cope?
E.g. Temperament. If I am easily vexed and also marry another kind, there will be fire in my house…
Bridget: Yes be cause I can never hurt myself.
Daniel: What kind of question is that? No. Reasons:
1. Everything would just boring but lil fun cos we will be enjoying my hobbies together
2. Hunger will finish us cos Im someone dat doesnt like cooking much
3. Behaviour too,ahh hav u eva imagine living with someone with same behaviour with u,i love handling d television remote control probably she would love it too (conflicts)
4. Lifestyle. It’s gonna be fun.
Wycliff: Mmmh yeah so for company and to get the kids.
Mawezi: Yes I can marry my self, Yhoo I can be a good wife, i’m caring, responsible and kind. I can make a warm home.
Chika: Yes. I will marry myself because I’ve got all the quality.
I wouldn’t mind having return thousand Terences around the world, exactly like me. So ya yes yes.
Olalekan Adebumiti: What’s so special about Terence that we need to have thousands of him around the world.
Terence: I’m the only one. The world is too big.
Olalekan Adebumiti: What Characters, what values, specialities should the world crave through that inventory?
Terence: Nothing I can tell the world it would believe, but I possess something people fight for all over the world, something you need to teach yourself but knowing very well you will never leave once you get on, something not explained in science nor Christianity, something, I will hold dear and teach others given the chance.
Terence: I posses something I gave to the best female in my life, something I get addicted to each and everyday.
Olalekan Adebumiti: What’s that… Something?
Terence: My boss I got love. And all that comes with it.
Olalekan Adebumiti: So Love isn’t explained in Christianity?
Terence: It’s a chemical formula beast like air or feelings, that are said to be the brain sending chemicals to the body to make it react but what makes a person love, is it a chemical signal that sent by the brain or something else. It’s not explainable.
Olalekan Adebumiti: Smiles.
Terence: It’s a self right, something you accept with your heart and soul, but what exactly make us love or feel that feeling of love. Coz wen you start to experience it,It’s amazing but when you loose it,it hurts like crazy.
Olalekan Adebumiti: Are you a Christian?
Terence: I’m a believer. I believe in God. And in love coz it comes from Him..
Terence: Meaning wat u feel wen in love is pure spiritual. It’s not physical.
Olalekan Adebumiti: And how come Christianity and science do not describe it?
James: No. Simply because God condemns it. As a believer in God I can’t go against Him.
Olalekan Adebumiti: Noooo. I mean if there’s a woman that has the same ideology as you… The same character, same ideas about life… Will you marry her?
James: Oh, okay. Obviously yes. If the life style is the same. It reduces the difference between the two which most people complain “I don’t understand him/her”.
Eve: Yes I wud like right away! Lol don’t wanna brag bt I think am the best they cn ever be,like I love truly expecting nothing in return so I’d definitely marry me.
Ofentse: Yes I can.. I love myself… I’m proud of who I’m and I like the way I live my life I live the way I want.
Sarah: Yes. I am responsible God fearing.
Pascal: Yeah, I would really like that, coz I know myself, I know what I like and what I don’t like, I won’t find it difficult to explain to myself the reason why I took an action. It will be very easy living with myself. No expecting of someone to understand me coz I understand myself.
Omolola: Yes. I am the caring type. Always sincere.
Deborah: Yes, because I understand myself and I will always love myself no matter what happens I forgive and care for myself.
Edna: Yes…cos I better love myself than been fucked up with lies and lust.
Sandra: No. I can’t marry myself. I want something new I mean life could be boring when you agree on something all the time or have the same attitude towards everything. I would love someone different.
Saviour: Yes because I believe I am accommodating, I am a serious Christian, in as much as possible I tell the truth, I don’t pretend.
Uwaokhonye: Yes, because I’m unique.
Bianca: Yes coz i am the most loving person to a partner loyal and trustworthy.
Marquis: If it’s a female yes… Because I love the way have grown myself to the best I can be if not perfect. I believe I can be the best to any spouse, so I expect the spouse to act or behave similar as well. But I can’t marry myself o.
Olalekan Adebumiti: Actually talking about a female.
Marquis: If it’s a female that’s another version of myself. I would love to marry her cos I feel we would be perfect in our doings… But that doesn’t mean there won’t be ups and downs in our lives.
Bebe Rwanda: Yes. Because I love myself. I love how I am. And how I behave.
Dele: Of course YES. *All bcos I love the kind of myself*.
Sauda: Awww! I think yes, it will make things easy in the relationship, there won’t be arguments, disagreement, misunderstanding etc.
Joy: I can’t marry such.
Normal people scare me. And being normal means u are perfect in everything which is not good. Nobody on this planet earth that has 100% character.
As a lady I am…..there are things I look out for in a guy and its not possible it will reach that 10 things……he maybe lacking 2, 3 or 5….who knows. So when you meet one that is complete, something is wrong somewhere.
Joy: Hope I answered your question correctly sir?
Joy: Everybody on this earth is different.
Joy: We all cam from different background and there is no how u can have exactly same character with another person.
We marry for purpose and visions… Not really for characters because it will be rare before u find one who has same character with u….in everything.
Sherry: No. I myself don’t understand who I really I am at times. So I wouldn’t Marry me.
Udy: Yes, because I’m a good quality.
Jimscott: I think yes, she is God fearing, patient, trust worthy, calm and above all she is honest in her gentle love. So if I was the version of her n her me, yes I would really love to marry her.
Boitumelo: Yes…. Because I love my personality so I’ll love to marry the same person.
Sir Jaw: No. Because I’m straight.
Olalekan Adebumiti: That’s no homo question! Read it well I mentioned another gender!
Sir Jaw: Oh OK, my bad. Then yes because I love myself.
Opeyemi: Yes i will. It’s because I really love myself.
Olalekan Adebumiti: What are the things you love about yourself
Opeyemi: Smiles. The way God created me is perfect.
Emeka: Now to the above question of yours, my answer is YES!
I don’t really know the areas you want me to give reasons.
Olalekan Adebumiti: All areas.
Emeka: In the first place I am a Christian: I love God and I love myself, and by the help of the Holy Spirit I walk in obedience. He has also inculcated in me the virtue of faithfulness. I am hardworking (as much as I can testify of myself) and I maintain cleanliness.
In addition I live and work to fulfill God’s purpose for my life both in my ministry in church and in business (though I will set up the business soon: just making the preparation). And, though am not perfect, my daily goal is to get better in every way and in everything!
Samson: It’s a NO!!!
It will be so boring doing only what I know, in such relationship there’s no growth… No new ideas to gasp… No new things to learn…. No quality attributes to adapt….
They will not be room to appreciate our differences because you’re dealing with yourself…
Even when there’s a problem, you won’t know because the real you don’t see it as a problem likewise the other version of you won’t see it. But if you’re not alike, you will be able to see things from different angles.
Thanks for reading. Post a comment.