Olalekan Adebumiti
There is a specific, electric kind of joy in having a secret that only two people share.
You are out at dinner, and while the rest of the world sees a girl eating pasta, you know there is a hand resting on your knee just out of frame.
Posting a stray elbow or a blurry reflection isn’t about hiding your partner; it is about keeping the magic for yourself a little longer.
You realise that once the world gets a vote on your relationship, the dynamic changes forever.
Here is why keeping them “soft” might be the hardest you have ever loved.
I want to invite you to explore why we choose to linger in this beautiful, blurry middle ground before making things official.
1. To Protect Your Peace From External Opinions
You know how quickly people start to weigh in once they see a face.
The moment you tag him, your mother starts asking about wedding dates and future grandchildren.
Your friends start checking his Instagram following list to look for potential red flags.
By choosing to soft launch, you keep those noisy voices at bay for as long as possible.
You create a sturdy buffer between your new joy and their old, tired judgments.
It is about making sure your opinion is the only one that truly matters right now.
You deserve to like him for your own reasons without a jury deliberating on your choice.
Stop letting the crowd into your heart before you have even settled into the connection.
2. To Test The Waters Of Your New Reality
Entering a new relationship often feels like trying on a heavy winter coat in the middle of a store.
You need to see how it moves when you walk and how it feels when the weather actually turns cold.
Posting a hand or a pair of shoes allows you to “try on” the idea of being part of a couple.
You are gauging your own comfort level with the public association of being “taken.”
It is a low-stakes way to see if you are ready to be an “us” in the eyes of your digital peers.
Take your time to decide if this fit is permanent or just a passing trend for the season.
3. To Guard Your Heart Against Public Embarrassment
You have felt the sting of a public breakup before, and you likely have the digital scars to prove it.
Deleting a whole gallery of photos while your eyes are red from crying is a special kind of hell.
The soft launch acts as your emotional insurance policy against a sudden, painful crash.
If things do not work out next week, you do not have to explain a single thing to anyone.
You avoid the awkward questions from people who only follow you for the drama.
It is not about being pessimistic; it is about being protective of your future self.
You are allowing the foundation to dry before you try to build the second floor.
There is no shame in wanting to be sure before you bet your public reputation on a person.
Respect your own history enough to move slower than the speed of a high-speed internet connection.
4. To Savour The Magic Of A Private World
There is a certain holiness found in things that are not yet for sale to the public.
The inside jokes and the way he takes his coffee are your treasures to hold.
When you post a blurry photo, you are keeping the best parts of the story to yourself.
You are proving that your happiness can exist without the validation of a “like” count.
Enjoy the quiet before the world starts demanding to see more of what you have found.
5. To Ease Your Inner Circle Into The Change
Sometimes you need to prepare the people in your life for a new face in the group chat.
Dropping hints through a soft launch is a gentle way to signal that your status is shifting.
It prevents the shock that comes with a sudden, full-face reveal on a random Monday night.
You are giving your exes and your old flings a fair warning to stay in their own lanes.
It helps your closest friends get used to the idea that your time is being shared.
Think of it as a movie trailer that builds excitement without giving away the ending.
You are managing the energy of your social circle with the skill of a seasoned diplomat.
6. To Dismantle The Pressure Of Digital Perfection
We often feel like every photo of a partner needs to look like a professional engagement shoot.
The soft launch is your rebellion against the need for a perfectly curated life.
A photo of two pizza boxes or a shadow on the pavement is honest and raw.
It says that you are more interested in the moment than the lighting or the filter.
You are teaching yourself that your relationship is not a product to be marketed.
It is a living, breathing thing that does not need a ring light to be valid.
Let the blurry edges of your photos reflect the messy, beautiful reality of new love.
Real connection should never feel like a performance for a group of strangers.
7. To Control The Narrative Of Your Own Life
You are the only person who gets to decide when your story becomes public knowledge.
In a world that demands total transparency, privacy is a radical act of self-love.
By controlling the reveal, you are asserting power over your own emotional journey.
You are not a character in a show that the audience gets to binge-watch at their leisure.
Choose the timing that makes you feel safe and empowered rather than rushed and exposed.
You are the author of this chapter, so do not let the readers skip ahead.
8. To Honour The Pace Of Your Emotional Safety
True intimacy is a slow-cooked meal that cannot be rushed by a microwave culture.
You are allowed to be a little bit scared of how much you are starting to care.
Soft launching is a way to admit you are in love without shouting it from the rooftops.
It is a whisper that says you are hopeful but still mindful of your own boundaries.
Give yourself permission to be “a little bit” in a relationship until you are ready to be “all” in.
The person who is right for you will never mind waiting in the wings for a while.
They will value the secret world you are building more than a tag in a photo.
Trust the timing of your heart more than the algorithm of your favourite social app.
You are building something real, and real things take time to grow in the dark.
The Sacred Art Of The Slow Reveal
You have spent so much of your life giving yourself away to people who did not earn the view.
This time, you are doing it differently because you finally realised your worth is not tied to your relationship status.
The blurry photos and the hidden faces are not signs of doubt; they are signs of a person who has learned the value of a slow burn.
Savour this quiet phase while it lasts, because once the world knows, it belongs to them too.
Keep your secrets, keep your peace, and keep your heart tucked safely behind the lens.
You are not just launching a partner; you are launching a new version of yourself that knows how to protect what is precious.
