Bukola Arikawe
You’ve been hanging out with this amazing person for quite some time now. You’ve had your fair share of fun and heart-flutters, and let’s not forget those butterflies in your stomach!
But lately, you can’t help but wonder where this whole thing is going.
So, there you are, eager to ask your partner about the current status and future of your relationship. Though you’re totally into them, you’re dying to know where this is going.
You’re really itching to ask the ‘what are we?’ question but are scared of chasing them away, either.
Hold up, before you delve into that conversation like a fearless warrior, let’s take a step back together.
There are some essential things you gotta consider before having this defining chat. Trust me, it’s like putting on armour before going into battle – you wanna be prepared!
So, before you jump into that “What Are We?” talk, follow these ten essential steps to set the stage for this defining adventure into the unknown waters of relationship clarity.
Let’s get started!
1. Understand Your Feelings
Before you even think about that nerve-wracking ‘What Are We?’ talk, you have to understand what’s going on inside that heart of yours. You need to figure out your own feelings first!
Understanding your feelings is like untangling a bunch of earphones (seriously, who invented earphones that love to tangle?). It might take some time, but trust me, it’s worth it!
Take a moment to sit down and reflect on your emotions. Ask yourself the tough questions: Are you falling head over heels, or is it just a fleeting crush?
A secret to pay attention to is that your gut feeling is often spot-on. Pay attention to those gut whispers and trust your instincts.
If your heart is shouting from the rooftops that this person is something special, well, there you go! But if your gut is giving you mixed signals, it’s time to hit the brakes and figure out why.
And hey, don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re feeling a little uncertain.
Love can be as mysterious as a magic trick! Sometimes, it takes time and a sprinkle of patience to untangle those emotions.
2. Evaluate the Current Status of Relationship
Evaluating the current status of your relationship is like looking at a map before setting off on a grand adventure.
You need to know where you are before deciding where you want to go, right?
Evaluating your relationship means taking a good, honest look at what you’ve got so far. It’s about understanding where you stand emotionally and romantically.
Take a moment to rewind those precious moments you’ve shared. Remember that time you stayed up all night just talking about life or that inside joke that only the two of you understand?
Those moments can be meaningful hints about the depth of your connection.
Assessing the status of your relationship isn’t about playing detective or overthinking every little detail. It’s not about reading too much into every text or analyzing every gesture.
Instead, be present and mindful of your interactions.
Are you both equally invested in spending time together and making an effort to communicate?
Tune in to your emotions and be honest with yourself about how you truly feel about the relationship.
Keep in mind that this talk is not about forcing a label on your connection; it’s about understanding where you both want to take this beautiful journey.
3. Gauge Your Partner’s Level of Commitment
Gauging your partner’s commitment isn’t about turning into a sneaky spy lurking in the shadows. Nah, it’s more like being an attentive observer.
You need to pay attention to the little details. Actions speak louder than words, and that’s where the truth lies.
Start by observing how they treat you when you’re together. Do they go the extra mile to make you feel special? Or are they MIA when you need them most, leaving you feeling like a solo act in a duo performance?
But hey, no judgment here!
Sometimes, we all have our off days, right? It’s all about looking at the bigger picture. How consistent are they in showing affection and support? Are they there for you through the ups and downs, cheering you on like your own personal cheerleader?
Communication is the key to a happy kingdom!
So, don’t be afraid to have open and honest conversations about where you both see this relationship heading.
If your partner is as invested in this relationship as you are, they’ll welcome the conversation with open arms.
4. Analyze What You Want From the Relationship
Just before you head into that talk with your heart on your sleeve, take a moment to figure out what you really want from this sweet, sweet relationship.
You get to choose the thrills and the twists you’re excited about. Maybe you crave a deep emotional connection, someone who knows you inside out, like the lyrics of your favourite song.
Or you’re looking for a partner in crime who’ll join you on all your crazy adventures and share a love for wild escapades!
Analyzing what you want from the relationship doesn’t mean creating a long wishlist of impossible demands.
We’re not crafting some fantasy story here; it’s about being true to yourself and your desires. Think about the qualities that matter most to you, like trust, respect, and support.
Consider the kind of future you envision, whether it’s a cosy nest with a white picket fence or backpacking around the world together.
It’s okay to want different things at different stages of your life. You’re not signing a binding contract here; it’s an ever-evolving journey.
Therefore, embrace the beauty of growth and change as you discover what you truly want from this connection.
5. Consider Introducing Each Other to Friends or Family
Introducing each other to friends and family is like adding an extra layer of trust to your bond; it’s a step towards building a future together.
Introducing your partner to your friends and family isn’t just a casual meet-and-greet. It’s like inviting them into your inner circle, your heart’s fortress!
It’s a sign that you’re taking this relationship seriously, and you’re not afraid to show it off to the people who matter most.
I know this can feel like standing on a stage, the spotlight blinding your eyes, waiting for applause.
The nerves might kick in, and that’s completely normal!
You might wonder, “What if they don’t get along?” or “What if it’s too soon?”
Well, here’s the thing – there’s no perfect formula for this stuff. It’s all about finding the right time that feels natural to both of you.
If you’re excited to share your love with your loved ones, go for it! But if you need a little more time to let the relationship blossom, that’s okay too.
Here’s a little tip – talk to your partner about how you feel! Let them know your thoughts about the big introduction. They might be feeling the same way, and together, you’ll figure out the best way to approach it.
6. Assess the Emotional Connection You Share
Think of it as cooking up a heartwarming stew of emotions. You throw in vulnerability, honesty and shared experiences, and voilà – you’ve got a delicious emotional connection brewing!
It’s about being there for each other through the ups and downs, laughing together till your bellies ache, and holding each other close during those tough times.
But wait, don’t be fooled by the Hollywood romances!
Emotional connection isn’t all about grand gestures and fireworks. It’s those little everyday moments that matter most – the stolen glances, the inside jokes, the comforting hand on your shoulder when you’re feeling down.
It’s that sense of safety and trust that makes you feel like you’re home whenever you’re together.
And you know what? Assessing this emotional bond isn’t something you can achieve with a checklist or a mathematical formula.
It’s a feeling, an experience that evolves over time. It’s about being present in the moment and genuinely cherishing the connection you’re building.
7. Observe How You Both Handle Conflicts or Disagreements
Conflict can feel like a storm brewing, but it’s a natural part of any relationship.
How you both handle those stormy situations can say a lot about your partnership. It’s like a litmus test for your compatibility!
Do you turn into rival gladiators, swords clashing, and emotions running wild? Or do you become a dynamic duo, facing challenges together like Batman and Robin?
I’m not suggesting you go looking for a fight like a boxer itching for a round. No, it’s all about being prepared for those inevitable bumps in the road.
Observe how you both deal with disagreements.
Are you able to communicate openly and honestly without letting emotions spiral out of control? Can you listen to each other’s perspectives like two wise sages taking in the wisdom of the ages?
Don’t forget that it’s not about winning or losing – it’s about finding common ground like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.
Sure, there might be differences, but those differences make your relationship unique and exciting!
8. Align Your Goals, Interests, Values, and Lifestyles
Aligning your goals means looking at the big picture. Do you both see eye to eye when it comes to the future? It’s like plotting out a map together, deciding where you want to go and what you want to achieve as a team.
But it’s not just about the destination; it’s about the journey too. Think of it as two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.
Aligning your interests means finding those common passions that make your hearts sing. Shared interests create those special moments that bond you together.
And let’s not forget about values and lifestyles. It’s like sharing a favourite secret recipe that brings you closer together.
Aligning your values means being on the same page when it comes to what matters most in life. Whether it’s kindness, honesty, or love for late-night pizza runs, these shared values create a strong foundation for your relationship.
In all, it’s about being open and honest with each other and sharing your dreams, fears, and quirks. It’s having those late-night conversations about your hopes and aspirations, laughing at each other’s silly jokes, and supporting each other’s wild ideas.
9. Prepare for Different Outcomes
Before you dive headfirst into that defining conversation, take a deep breath and brace yourself for different outcomes.
It’s like packing an emotional survival kit for whatever comes your way.
Will they reciprocate your feelings and embrace the idea of being together? Or will they gently let you down, like a soft landing after a bungee jump?
Having realistic expectations can save you from a heartache hangover.
Preparing for different outcomes might not be a walk in the park, but you’ve got the strength and resilience of a mighty oak tree, weathering storms and still standing tall.
Etch it in your mind that whatever the outcome, you’re not defined by it. You’re defined by the beautiful person you are – brave, caring, and worthy of love.
Embrace the unknown like a brave explorer, and remember, your happiness isn’t dependent on someone else’s response.
You hold the key to your own joy, and love will find its way to you, just like a shooting star lighting up the night sky.
10. Don’t Rush Into the Conversation, Give It Time
Patience is the secret ingredient to a meaningful and heartfelt conversation.
Meaningful conversations need a bit of marinade time. It’s about letting your feelings settle, understanding your own emotions, and giving your partner the space they need too.
Sometimes, taking a deep breath and giving it time can lead to a more positive outcome.
But hey, don’t confuse giving it time with putting things off indefinitely. You’re not shelving that “What Are We?” talk in the forgotten corners of your mind like a dusty old book.
No way!
It’s about finding the right moment when both of you are emotionally prepared for that honest conversation.
Give it time to flow naturally, and when you’re both swaying to the same rhythm, that’s when you know it’s the right moment to have that talk.
Closing the Curtain
Love is an incredible journey and these ten things to do first before you have the ‘what are we?’ talk are your trusty compass.
Whether it’s understanding your feelings, navigating conflicts, or preparing for different outcomes, you’ve got the tools to steer your love life in the right direction.
So, take a deep breath, and let your heart lead the way!
If you want more of this heart-to-heart connection, drop a comment below and let me know your thoughts. I’m all ears, ready to listen and support you on your love quest.
Till I come your way again, go forth, and conquer your love story!
I’ll be right here, rooting for you and offering a helping hand whenever you need it.
