Olalekan Adebumiti
You have seen the influencers do it through the blurry coffee cups, the tagged shoes, and the mystery man aesthetic that keeps everyone guessing.
But while you are curating the perfect teaser for your followers, you are ignoring the cold chill in your bones.
A soft launch is only romantic if it is a bridge to somewhere real.
If it is just a way to keep you in a holding pattern, it is not a trend; it is a trap.
I want to show you the signs that this launch is heading for a crash, so you can run before the impact.
1. Determine If He Is Launching You Or His Own Ego
Some men love the idea of being wanted more than they love the woman they are with.
He might be posting those cryptic photos just to see which of his exes will view his story.
You are not a partner in this scenario; you are a prop used to incite jealousy in others.
If he cares more about the “engagement” on the post than the person sitting across from him, pay attention.
An ego-driven launch is a hollow gesture that offers zero emotional security for your future.
Stop being the bait he uses to catch the attention of the women he actually misses.
2. Identify If He Still Keeps His Dating Apps Active
This is the hardest truth to swallow, but a soft launch is the perfect cover for a cheater.
Because your face is not on his profile, he can still claim to be “single” or “exploring” on Tinder.
He tells you that he wants to be private, but what he really wants is to be untraceable.
If he has not deleted his apps while posting “soft” content of you, he is still shopping for your replacement.
A blurry photo of your hand does not stop him from swiping right on someone else tonight.
You are being used to fill his time while he searches for a “hard launch” he likes better.
He is keeping his digital footprint small so his playing field stays wide open.
Realise that a man who is serious about you will delete the apps before he ever hits “post.”
3. Ask Why He Demands Privacy But Stalks His Exes
It is a massive red flag when a man demands total digital silence from you while he stays loud elsewhere.
If he is constantly checking the stories of girls from his past, his “privacy” is a total lie.
He is not trying to protect your relationship; he is trying to keep himself available for his ex.
He wants you to be the secret girl so he does not have to explain you to the one who got away.
You are essentially helping him hide his new life from the old life he still wants back.
4. Observe If Your Presence Is Only A Tool For His Brand
Some men view relationships as accessories that need to match their specific online aesthetic.
He might only allow you on his feed if your outfit fits his “vibe” or the lighting is perfect.
This is not a romantic gesture; it is a marketing strategy for his personal brand.
If he gets angry when you post a “real” photo of the two of you, he is controlling the narrative.
You are being curated like a piece of furniture rather than being loved like a human being.
Your value in his life should not depend on how well you look in a grainy filter.
A soft launch that feels like a photo shoot is a disaster waiting to happen for your self-esteem.
5. Notice If He Gaslights You About Your Need For Visibility
When you ask for a bit more clarity, a toxic man will turn the tables and make you the villain.
He will call you “insecure” or “obsessed with social media” to shut down the conversation.
This is a manipulation tactic designed to make you feel guilty for having basic emotional needs.
It is not “shallow” to want the person you love to acknowledge your existence to the world.
He uses the “privacy” excuse to avoid the accountability that comes with a public commitment.
If he makes you feel crazy for wanting a tag, he is hiding something much bigger than a photo.
A man who respects you will listen to your concerns instead of mocking your feelings.
You are not asking for too much; you are asking the wrong person for the right thing.
Trust your gut when it tells you that his “calm” explanation feels like a calculated lie.
6. Check If This Is A Strategy For Monkey Branching
Monkey branching happens when a person refuses to let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on the next.
A soft launch allows him to test the waters with you without fully committing his reputation.
If things do not work out, he can simply delete the blurry photos and pretend you never happened.
He is keeping his options open just in case a “better” version of you comes along next month.
You are the safety net that he is using while he decides if he actually wants to jump.
This is a cowardly way to date that leaves you dangling in a state of constant uncertainty.
7. Recognise When You Are Only Useful For The Aesthetic
You might notice that he only soft launches you when you are at expensive or trendy locations.
He wants the world to see that he is a man of status who spends time with beautiful women.
However, he never mentions your name, your personality, or the things that make you “you.”
You are a silent guest in his life who is only there to make him look more successful.
If the “soft” launch stops when the “cool” location ends, you are being used for clout.
A relationship built on appearances will always crumble the moment the filter is removed.
He loves the way you look in his world, but he does not love you in his heart.
You deserve to be more than a decorative addition to someone’s social media grid.
8. Dismantle The Excuse Of A Complicated Past Relationship
He tells you he cannot post you because his “ex is crazy” and he wants to avoid the drama.
This is a classic trap that keeps you in a position of “understanding” while he stays in control.
If his ex is still that much of a factor in his life, he is not ready to be with you.
You are being forced to hide so that he can manage the emotions of a woman he should have left behind.
A man who is ready for you will handle his past so that it does not ruin your present.
The Courage To Demand The Sunlight
You were never meant to live your life as a silhouette in someone else’s story.
A soft launch that lacks a timeline, a title, and a sense of pride is not a romance; it is a slow-motion car crash that will leave your heart in pieces.
If you feel like a secret, it is because you are being treated like one, and secrets are eventually meant to be discarded.
Your parting gift is this: You cannot build a solid house on a “soft” foundation. If he is not willing to let the world see your face, it is because he is still looking for someone else’s.
Run toward the person who wants to hold your hand in the middle of the day, with no filters and no excuses.
