Olalekan Adebumiti
We live in a world where the concept of breakups and divorces is becoming more normalized, such as the recent introduction of the no-fault divorce system in the UK, but there still exist many couples and partners who choose to stay together for reasons that might not be immediately obvious.
This choice can seem perplexing, especially when from the outside, everything suggests that separation would be the best course of action.
I’ve been married since 2016, marking eight years of marital journey as of 2024, and as someone who values lasting relationships, I understand the importance of commitment and working through challenges.
My relationship, like many others, has its share of disagreements, but these moments are crucial for growth rather than signs of toxicity. We don’t just endure our problems; we address them head-on to build a stronger bond.
However, we can’t overemphasize the need to recognize that not all relationships are healthy, and some should indeed come to an end.
I believe there should be a scale or criteria for deciding when a breakup or divorce is necessary, especially in extreme cases. Some relationships are beyond saving and should end for the well-being of both parties involved.
Despite this, there are still compelling reasons why some couples choose to stay together even when breaking up seems like the most logical step.
These reasons, known only to those within the relationship, often include deeply personal fears and justifications that keep them together against the odds.
Justifications for Staying in a Bad Relationship
If you’ve ever wondered why some people decide to stay together in love instead of ending their relationships, you should find the answer in this post as I share some of the strange justifications that don’t make breakups happen, even when all signs point towards it.
1. Hope for Change
Despite ongoing issues, many hold onto hope that their partner will change. On the surface, there is nothing wrong with the belief that someone will change, but that expectation must be worth it.
This resilient hope can keep a relationship going, even when it seems inevitable that it should end. It’s crucial to assess whether the anticipated changes are realistic and if the wait is genuinely beneficial for both parties involved.
2. Inertia and Comfort
Sometimes, people stay together simply because it feels easier than making a change. The inertia of routine and the comfort of the familiar can be powerful reasons for avoiding the upheaval of a breakup.
3. Valuing a Support System
Many people choose to stay because they value the emotional and practical support their partner provides. The comfort of sharing daily experiences and handling life’s challenges together is a strong justification for maintaining the relationship.
4. Belief That It’s Bad Everywhere
Some people believe that every relationship has significant issues and see messages on social media suggesting that all relationships are equally difficult. This belief can encourage them to stay and manage the current relationship, thinking it’s the same everywhere.
5. Avoiding Loneliness
The fear of significant loneliness after a breakup, especially after a long-term relationship, motivates some to stay.
The fear of being alone and the uncertainty of finding someone new or facing life alone can make the prospect of breaking up seem too daunting. They cherish the companionship and intimacy, realizing how much they value the closeness they have.
6. Fear of Starting Over
The prospect of dating again and finding a new partner can be overwhelming. The challenges and time-consuming nature of starting a new relationship often make staying in the current one a more appealing option.
7. Preserving Shared Memories and Traditions
The emotional weight of shared experiences, memories, and traditions can be a powerful reason to stay. Letting go of these cherished moments is difficult, so many opt to preserve the relationship.
8. Maintaining Mutual Friendships and Social Circles
The impact of a breakup on mutual friendships and social circles is a significant concern. Staying together helps avoid the awkwardness and potential loss of friendships that can occur when a relationship ends.
9. Managing Financial and Lifestyle Stability
The financial strain and lifestyle changes that come with a breakup can be daunting. Sharing expenses and maintaining a familiar lifestyle are strong justifications for staying together.
10. Considering the Effect on Children
For those with children, the impact of a breakup on their well-being is a significant factor. Staying together helps maintain family stability and minimizes the potential emotional toll on children.
11. Financial Entanglements
Money matters often complicate breakups. Shared leases, joint bank accounts, or significant income differences can make breaking up more difficult and provide unexpected justifications for staying together.
12. Social Media Pressure
In the age of social media, couples often feel pressure to maintain a certain image online. The fear of public judgment or the discomfort of explaining a breakup to a wide audience can deter people from ending their relationship.
13. Shared Responsibilities
Couples who share responsibilities such as caring for children, elderly parents, or running a business together may find it difficult to break up. The desire to maintain stability for those who depend on them can be a significant factor in deciding to stay together.
14. Cultural or Familial Expectations
Cultural norms and family expectations heavily influence decisions about relationships. Fear of disappointing family members or facing cultural backlash can provide strong reasons for postponing a breakup.
15. Legal Complications
Legal issues such as prenuptial agreements, immigration status, or custody battles can make the decision to break up much more complex. These legal entanglements can provide strong justifications for delaying a breakup.
Breaking the Cycle
If you find yourself hoping your partner will change, remember that believing in someone is a beautiful thing. Beyond this, make sure your expectations are realistic and truly worth the wait.
Ask yourself if these changes are likely to happen and if staying in the relationship is bringing you happiness and growth.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Seek open, honest communication with your partner about your needs and concerns.
If necessary, seek guidance from friends, family, or a professional. Your well-being and happiness should be a priority.
Remember, you deserve a relationship that brings out the best in you. It’s okay to let go if the relationship is not fulfilling or healthy. Breaking the cycle can be the first step towards a brighter, more hopeful future.
