Olalekan Adebumiti
Breakups are a normal part of life, just like the feelings that come after. While you can’t control how your partner reacts, you want to be confident that you won’t look back with regrets.
People end relationships for many reasons. If you’re considering a breakup because you believe you deserve better, this post is for you. Even if your reason is different, you want to feel confident and proud of your decision when you look back.
The goal of this post, however, is not to change your decision to break up but to ensure you’re handling it right. It’s also to help you understand if your reasons for breaking up might be misaligned, hence the need to understand where you stand.
Understanding potential breakup regrets can help you end the relationship gracefully. Beyond that, you can make a more informed and thoughtful decision.
While there are close to 20 potential regrets, I have chosen to include these key ones as they are a must-consider. Other regrets are covered under the “Why Some Breakups Don’t Happen” post.
Also read: 7 Reasons People Regret Relationship Breakups They Never Expected To.
Here’s what you need to consider before taking that final step.
1. Regret Over the Way the Breakup Was Handled
One of the first regrets that might hit you is how the breakup was handled. The manner in which a breakup is conducted can lead to regret. Harsh words, hurtful actions, or an abrupt ending can leave lasting emotional scars.
Reflecting on your approach can help you avoid regret over not handling it more gracefully. Even if you’re still in the process, consider the impact of your actions and strive for a respectful and thoughtful closure.
2. Misinterpreting Temporary Problems as Permanent
Sometimes, we mistake temporary issues as insurmountable. Reflecting later, you might regret not recognizing that certain problems could have been resolved with time and effort.
Consider whether the challenges you’re facing are truly permanent or if they might improve with patience and work (Please do). This perspective can prevent the regret of ending a relationship over fixable issues.
3. Misjudging the Potential for Improvement
It’s easy to overlook the potential for improvement in a relationship. Sometimes, people regret not putting more effort into resolving conflicts or improving the relationship.
Reflecting on whether all avenues for reconciliation and growth have been exhausted can help you avoid this regret. Think about whether more effort or a different approach might have led to a better outcome.
4. Unrealistic Expectations Post-breakup
Many people end a relationship believing they deserve better or that they would get one better, only to realize their expectations were unrealistic. The reality of being single or finding a new partner might not match your hopes.
Reflecting on your expectations can help you understand if they’re realistic and avoid the regret of ending a relationship for an ideal that may not exist.
5. Ex-partner’s Growth Post-breakup
Sometimes, people regret breaking up when they see their ex-partner grow and thrive afterward. You might realize you gave up just before a breakthrough moment.
Reflect on whether your partner has the potential for positive change and growth, and whether you might regret not being part of that journey.
6. Letting Outside Influences Affect the Decision
External opinions and pressures from friends, family, or society can influence the decision to break up. People often regret allowing these outside influences to dictate such a personal choice.
This doesn’t mean you must keep third parties away entirely, but it’s important to understand when seeking external advice is necessary and when it might be harmful. Reflect on whether your decision is truly your own or unduly influenced by others.
Where From Here?
Reflecting on these key points before you end that relationship is important to avoid future regrets.
First, consider how you’re handling the breakup. Make sure you’re being respectful and kind to avoid causing lasting emotional pain.
Think about whether the problems you’re facing are truly permanent or if they could be resolved with time and effort. This can help you see if you’re making a decision based on temporary issues.
Next, think about the potential for improvement. Are there things you or your partner could change to make the relationship better? Make sure you’ve tried everything before deciding to break up.
Also, be realistic about what life will be like after the breakup. Sometimes, expectations of a better life can be unrealistic and lead to disappointment.
Don’t forget that people can change and grow. You might regret breaking up if your ex-partner improves and you feel you missed out on that growth.
Finally, make sure your decision is truly your own. Don’t let outside opinions from friends, family, or society overly influence you.
Reflecting on these points can help you make a more thoughtful decision about your relationship. Take the time to consider them carefully before you commit to breaking up. Thank you, and I wish you all the best.
