Olalekan Adebumiti
It’s normal to look back at past relationships and question if breaking up was the right choice. Seeing your ex doing well can make you wonder if they would have been a better partner than your current one.
Breakups are tough, and it’s natural to hope we’re moving on to something better.
Watching an ex thrive without us can be difficult. But sometimes, our presence wasn’t beneficial for them, and we didn’t realize it.
They might be doing better now due to better decisions they’ve made or finding a partner who suits them more while you bemoan what you can no longer have.
Michelle Obama once said that if she had married someone else, he might have become president instead of Barack. This shows how influential our side of the bargain can be. Our identity and efforts shape our future more than anything else.
Read: 10 Signs Your Ex Wasn’t the Perfect Option
Subtle Signs You Still Consider Your Ex as the Better Option
If you often think about your ex or compare them to your current partner, it might be a sign that you still see them as the better option. Here are some subtle signs that suggest you might still believe your ex was the better choice.
- You constantly compare them to your current partner: If you’re always measuring your current partner against your ex, it shows you believe your ex might have been the better choice.
- You believe your ex was more attentive: Feeling like your present partner doesn’t put in as much effort as your ex can indicate you think your ex was the better option.
- You aren’t fully invested in your current relationship: If you find yourself not giving your best to your current relationship, it might be because you still think your ex was a better fit.
- You regret the breakup: Looking back with regret and wishing you were still with your ex suggests you see them as the better option.
- You’re ashamed of your current relationship: Feeling embarrassed or unhappy in your current relationship can signal that you believe your ex was a better fit for you.
- Your current partner undervalues you: If your current partner doesn’t appreciate you, it can make you idealize your ex and believe they were the better option.
- You often felt restricted or unhappy during your past relationship: If you felt restricted or unhappy with your ex, realizing this can help you see they weren’t the perfect option.
- Your ex didn’t support your dreams: If your ex wasn’t supportive of your ambitions, it shows they weren’t the right partner, even if you think they were the better option now.
- You stalk your ex on social media: Frequently checking up on your ex’s life online suggests you still think they were the better option.
- You compare your current relationship milestones to those you had with your ex: If you’re always reminiscing about significant moments with your ex, it indicates you still hold them in high esteem and think they were the better choice.
- You feel jealous when you hear about your ex dating someone new: Jealousy over your ex’s new relationships can indicate you still believe they were the better option.
- You keep mementos from your past relationship: Holding onto items from your time together suggests you’re not ready to move on because you think your ex was the better option.
- You avoid fully committing to your new partner: If you hesitate to commit deeply to your current relationship, it could be because you’re still emotionally attached to your ex and think they were the better option.
Where From Here?
No matter how you see it, holding onto the belief that your ex was the better option is like digging a pit of unhappiness and dissatisfaction for yourself.
Constantly comparing, regretting, and reminiscing only keeps you stuck in the past, preventing you from fully embracing and nurturing your current relationship or moving forward in life.
It’s high time to start looking beyond these thoughts and leaving the past where it belongs. Focus on the present and invest in your current relationship or personal growth.
Letting go of the idealized image of your ex, opens you up to new possibilities and a brighter, more fulfilling future.
It’s about time you give yourself the chance to find true happiness and contentment, free from the shadows of the past.
