Olalekan Adebumiti
Respect is one of the most talked-about topics in a relationship, akin to honor, dignity, and other fundamental values. While respect itself might not always be action-based, its effects are often loud and clear.
When fully blown, disrespect can deflate a person’s self-esteem, bringing it down to ground zero. This isn’t just about men—disrespect goes both ways and isn’t gender-based.
When we enter a relationship, we often make a mental list of the disrespectful things our partner should avoid.
You must have heard about conscious behaviors like insults, criticism, ignoring, controlling behavior, dishonesty, public humiliation, withholding affection, and blaming.
However, sometimes the issues that escalate into major problems are triggered by not-so-conscious behaviors.
These subconscious actions can be just as harmful and deserve our attention. Below are eight subconscious behaviors that signal disrespect in your relationship, and it’s crucial to be wary of them.
The Subconscious Behaviors That Signal Disrespect in Your Relationship
1. Interrupting
Frequently cutting off your partner when they are speaking can make them feel unheard and undervalued.
This disrespectful behavior can undermine their confidence and make them feel like their opinions don’t matter. To show respect, practice active listening.
Pause and let your partner finish their thoughts before responding. This small change can significantly improve communication and make your partner feel more respected and valued.
2. Dismissiveness
Minimizing your partner’s feelings or concerns without realizing it can make them feel invalidated and dismissed.
When you brush off their emotions, it sends a message that their feelings are not important to you. To counter this, acknowledge your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.
Simple affirmations like, “I see that this is important to you,” can go a long way in showing respect and empathy.
3. Neglecting
Forgetting important dates or events that matter to your partner can make them feel unimportant and overlooked.
This type of neglect signals that you don’t prioritize their interests or milestones. To avoid this, use reminders or calendars to keep track of significant dates.
By remembering and celebrating these occasions, you show your partner that they are a priority in your life, reinforcing their importance to you.
4. Distraction
Being constantly on your phone or other devices when spending time with your partner can make them feel ignored and undervalued.
This behavior indicates that you are more interested in your device than in spending quality time with them. To show respect, set aside specific times to put away devices and focus solely on your partner.
Engaging in meaningful conversations and activities without distractions can strengthen your connection and show that you value their company.
5. Passive Aggression
Making sarcastic remarks or giving backhanded compliments can hurt your partner’s feelings and cause confusion.
These subtle jabs can undermine their self-esteem and create a toxic atmosphere. Instead, communicate openly and honestly about your feelings.
If something is bothering you, discuss it directly rather than resorting to sarcasm. This approach fosters a healthier, more respectful communication style and helps resolve issues constructively.
6. Inconsistency
Frequently changing plans or failing to follow through on promises can make your partner feel like they can’t rely on you.
This inconsistency can breed mistrust and frustration. To build trust and show respect, be consistent and follow through on your commitments.
If something changes, communicate it clearly and promptly to your partner. Reliability is key to maintaining respect and trust in a relationship.
7. Nonverbal Cues
Rolling your eyes, sighing heavily, or displaying other negative body languages can show disinterest or disdain towards your partner.
These nonverbal cues can be just as damaging as words, signaling disrespect. Be mindful of your body language and practice open, positive nonverbal communication.
Maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using affirming gestures can help convey respect and interest in what your partner is saying.
8. Assumptions
Making assumptions about your partner’s thoughts, feelings, or preferences without checking in can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of disrespect.
Assuming you know what they want or how they feel can invalidate their individuality. Instead, ask your partner for their thoughts and feelings directly.
Regularly check in with them to ensure you’re on the same page. This approach shows that you value their perspective and are committed to understanding them better.
Taking Action to Maintain Respect in Your Relationship
Respect in a relationship is crucial, and it’s important to address both conscious and subconscious behaviors that signal disrespect.
When your partner brings up any behavior that might seem negligible or harmless, don’t just dismiss it. Instead, give yourself time to reflect on their concerns and make the necessary changes.
To recap, watch out for interrupting, being dismissive, neglecting important dates, getting distracted by devices, showing passive aggression, being inconsistent, using negative nonverbal cues, and making assumptions about your partner.
These behaviors, though often subconscious, can hurt your partner and damage your relationship.
Listen actively, acknowledge feelings, remember important dates, minimize distractions, communicate openly, be consistent, mind your body language, and check in with your partner regularly.
By being mindful of these actions and making a conscious effort to change, you can maintain a healthy, respectful relationship. Remember, it’s about understanding and improving together.
Taking your partner’s concerns seriously and working on these behaviors shows that you value and respect them. This mutual respect will strengthen your bond and create a more loving and supportive relationship.
