Olalekan Adebumiti
You are absolutely right to call that out. I settled into a repetitive rhythm and failed to give the post the natural, varied flow I promised. That was a lapse in my craftsmanship, and I appreciate you keeping me sharp.
Here is the revised post, written with strict attention to varying the paragraph counts (between 5 and 7) and lengths to ensure it feels human and impactful.
It is a lonely feeling to sit next to the person you love while they are worlds away. You can hear the hum of the television, but you cannot hear the heartbeat of your marriage.
The loudest sound in your house isn’t the explosion on the screen or the roar of the crowd. It is the silence between the two of you.
You want to reach out, but the remote control feels like a wall you cannot climb. He is physically there, but his mind is trapped inside a glass box of flickering lights.
He sees the colour of the screen more clearly than the expression on your face. This constant rejection stings more than a sudden argument ever could.
It is easy to react out of pain. However, some reactions only build the wall higher and make the programme seem even more inviting to him. Here are the seven worst things to do when he puts the TV first.
1. You Compete With the Volume
Trying to shout over the football match never works the way you want it to. You think you are fighting for your marriage, but he just hears noise that he wants to mute.
When you scream at the screen, you become the villain in his evening.
He doesn’t see a hurting wife; he sees an obstacle to his relaxation. This approach creates a cycle of anger that pushes him further into the sofa cushions.
He will start to associate your voice with stress instead of comfort. It makes the silence of the television feel like a sanctuary.
You cannot force a man to listen by being louder than the commentator.
Aggression feels like power in the moment, but it leaves you feeling more alone. It turns your living room into a war zone where nobody wins.
2. You Hide Your Heart Behind Your Own Phone
It is tempting to pick up your own device and scroll until your eyes ache. You think that if he is busy, you might as well be busy too.
This “tit-for-tat” behaviour only creates two islands in one room. You are both staring at screens, losing the ability to look each other in the eye.
Digital withdrawal feels like a safe shield against the pain of being ignored. In reality, it is just a way to speed up the drift between your souls.
If you both choose the glow of a screen over the warmth of a hand, the connection dies.
You stop being partners and start being two strangers sharing a Wi-Fi signal. Silence grows like a weed when you refuse to be the one to put the phone down first.
3. He Misinterprets Your Passive-Aggressive Sighs
You might start doing the housework loudly or sighing with every advert. You hope he will notice the weight of your unhappiness without you having to say a word.
Men are often blind to the subtle theatre of frustration.
He isn’t ignoring your sighs; he genuinely doesn’t know they are directed at him. When you act out your pain instead of speaking it, you lose your agency.
You become a martyr in a kitchen that no one is looking at.
This passive-aggressive dance only makes you feel more bitter as the night goes on. You end up exhausted from a performance he didn’t even know was happening.
Bitterness is a heavy coat to wear while you are trying to stay warm.
It keeps him at a distance and keeps you trapped in your own head. You deserve to be heard, not just heard clattering the dishes.
4. You Beg for His Attention Like a Stranger
Asking for a “crumb” of his time makes you feel small and desperate. You might find yourself asking if he still likes you or why the show is better than you.
When you beg, you lower your value in the relationship.
It makes his attention feel like a favour he is doing for you, rather than a natural part of love. He might look away for a second, but his heart isn’t in it.
You can tell he is just waiting for the next scene to start.
This leaves you feeling pathetic and even more rejected than before. You should never have to audition for a place in your husband’s evening.
5. It Becomes Normal to Live in Parallel Worlds
You might decide to just “get used to it” and start living your life as if he isn’t there. You find your own hobbies and stop trying to include him in your thoughts.
While independence is good, parallel lives are the first step toward a legal separation.
You are essentially practising being single while you are still married. If you stop caring that he is watching TV, the marriage has entered a danger zone.
Indifference is much harder to fix than anger or sadness.
You deserve a partner who is present, not a flatmate who pays half the bills.
Accepting the distance as “just the way it is” is a quiet tragedy. Don’t let the flickering light of the television become the only sun in your universe.
6. You Try to Outshine the Screen With Drama
Sometimes you might start a fight just to get a reaction. You feel like a negative reaction is better than no reaction at all.
This is a dangerous game that erodes the foundation of trust.
He starts to see you as “difficult” or “unpredictable” rather than a woman who is simply lonely. The TV becomes his escape from the drama you are creating.
It is a self-fulfilling prophecy that drives him deeper into the fiction of the screen.
You are using fire to try and stay warm, but you are only burning the house down.
Communication should be a bridge, not an explosion. When the dust settles, you are still alone, and the TV is still on.
It is better to be honest about your hurt than to mask it with a manufactured crisis.
7. You Wait for Him to Read Your Mind
Many women wait for a “lightbulb moment” where the husband suddenly realises he is being neglectful. You imagine him turning off the TV and sweeping you off your feet.
Life is not a film, and he cannot read the script you have written in your mind.
If you don’t tell him how the TV makes you feel, he will assume everything is fine. Silence is often mistaken for consent in a marriage.
If you are quiet, he thinks you are content with the way things are.
Waiting for him to “just know” is a trap that leads to years of wasted evenings. It builds a mountain of unspoken words that eventually becomes too big to climb.
Reclaiming the Space Between You
You are worth more than a commercial break. Your marriage deserves more than the leftover energy at the end of a long day.
It takes courage to turn off the noise and ask for what you need. It is about setting a boundary that protects the sanctuary of your home.
Start by choosing a time when the TV is already off to talk about how you feel. Use “I” statements to show him the hurt without making him feel attacked.
Tell him you miss him, not that you hate the television. Focus on the connection you want to build rather than the machine you want to destroy.
If he values the relationship, he will help you find a balance that works for both of you. You deserve to be the main character in your own life, not an extra in his.
