Olalekan Adebumiti
You have noticed that nagging feeling that every person you meet is just a temporary placeholder in your life.
You go on a date that is perfectly pleasant, yet you find yourself checking your phone in the car on the way home, wondering who else is waiting in the wings.
You have been conditioned to treat human hearts like browser tabs that can be closed the moment they become slightly inconvenient.
It is an exhausting way to live, where the pursuit of “better” has completely destroyed your ability to appreciate “good.”
You are participating in a culture that has successfully commodified your desire for intimacy.
The app has taught you that there is an endless supply of people, which has accidentally convinced you that nobody is actually worth keeping.
You aren’t just dating in a digital age; you are dating in a disposable age, where every connection feels like it has an expiration date printed on the side.
This isn’t a flaw in your character; it is a feature of the software in your pocket.
Let’s look at the “Mirror of Truth” and understand why the search for a soulmate has started to feel like sorting through a bin of recycled plastic.
1. Because The Infinite Scroll Devalues The Singular Human
You look at a profile for three seconds before deciding to discard a human life with a flick of your thumb.
The app presents people in a never-ending stream, which tricks your brain into thinking that humans are a renewable, infinite resource.
When you believe there is always another person waiting, you stop putting in the effort to understand the person right in front of you.
Because the supply feels limitless, the value of any single “match” drops to nearly zero in your mind.
You are treating souls like social media posts, consuming them for a moment before moving on to the next hit of novelty.
2. Because The Lack Of Social Accountability Encourages The “Ghost”
In the real world, if you were mean to someone, your mutual friends would know and there would be a social cost to your actions.
On the app, you are a digital ghost who can vanish into thin air without ever having to face the consequences of your silence.
This anonymity makes it easy to treat people poorly because they don’t feel “real” to you—they feel like pixels on a screen.
Because there is no community to hold you responsible, you have developed a “disposable” approach to ending connections.
You have traded the weight of human decency for the lightness of digital convenience.
It is a sign that the app has stripped away the empathy that usually keeps a relationship grounded and safe.
3. Because Minor Flaws Are Used As Excuses For Immediate Exit
You find yourself “nexting” someone because they mentioned a film you don’t like or because their texting style feels slightly off.
In a non-digital world, you would have worked through these tiny frictions and discovered the beautiful person underneath.
But because the app promises “perfection” is just one more swipe away, you have lost your tolerance for the healthy messiness of reality.
You are seeking a partner who is “plug-and-play,” someone who requires zero assembly and zero compromise from your side.
This strategy ensures that you stay single, because real humans always come with a few “bugs” that need to be understood.
Your quest for a “flawless” match has made every real person feel like a defective product you need to return.
4. Because The “Vibe Check” Has Replaced The Building Of Trust
You have started to judge a person’s entire potential as a partner based on a single thirty-minute coffee meeting.
You call it a “vibe check,” but it is actually just a shallow assessment of their ability to entertain you in the moment.
Because the app is built for speed, you have forgotten that trust and attraction are things that are built over months, not minutes.
You are discarding people before they have even had a chance to show you their true, vulnerable selves.
It is a disposable mentality that treats a first date like a movie trailer rather than the beginning of a story.
5. Because Personalities Are Curated To Be Consumed, Not Known
You have noticed that everyone on the app starts to sound exactly the same, using the same “safe” jokes and the same “marketable” hobbies.
People are presenting a version of themselves that is designed to be “liked” by the masses rather than loved by a specific individual.
Because you are consuming a “brand” rather than a person, you find it easy to throw the brand away when it stops being interesting.
You aren’t getting to know a human; you are getting to know a digital brochure that was written to please an algorithm.
This creates a shallow environment where nobody is actually being seen, which makes every connection feel temporary and hollow.
The app encourages you to be “consumable,” which is the exact opposite of being “intimate.”
Your search for love has turned into a shopping trip where you are looking for a specific aesthetic rather than a soul.
6. Because The Fear Of Missing Out Keeps You From Committing
You find it hard to say “yes” to a second date because you are terrified that your “true” soulmate might join the app tomorrow.
The digital world has given you a chronic case of “the grass is greener” syndrome, fueled by the illusion of infinite potential.
Because you are always looking over the shoulder of the person you are with, you never actually plant any seeds of connection.
This “disposable” approach to commitment is a protection mechanism that ensures you never have to face the risk of a real relationship.
You are dating the “future” instead of the “present,” and as a result, your present life feels very empty.
It is a sign that your strategy is based on “fear of loss” rather than “desire for gain.”
7. Because Technology Has Speeded Up The Lifecycle Of A Relationship
You move from “match” to “date” to “intimacy” to “breakup” in a matter of weeks because everything is designed for efficiency.
The app encourages a fast-forward approach to romance that burns through the “newness” before the foundations can even be laid.
Because you are moving so fast, you aren’t actually building anything—you are just experiencing a series of high-speed collisions.
When the initial fire dies out, you simply “dispose” of the person and look for the next hit of digital adrenaline.
The “Why” behind your exhaustion is that your heart was never meant to function at the speed of a high-frequency trading algorithm.
You are treating your love life like a fast-fashion garment that is meant to be worn once and then thrown away.
It is time to slow down and realise that anything worth having is worth the time it takes to actually grow.
The app wants you to be fast, but your soul is asking you to be slow, deliberate, and truly present.
The Gift Of The Slow Burn
Please remember that you are not a disposable person, and neither are the people you meet.
You have the power to step off the digital assembly line and choose a different pace for your heart.
The most beautiful things in life are the ones that are repaired, not replaced, and the ones that are nurtured, not consumed.
Put the phone in a drawer, take a deep breath, and remember that real love is the only thing in this world that never goes out of style.
