Bukola Arikawe
We all want to be loved and appreciated in our relationships, but sometimes we settle for less than we deserve.
However, the reality is that settling for less in a relationship can cause a rift in your life.
It can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and sadness, and it can prevent you from growing as a person.
The good news, however, is that there are better things you can do instead of settling for less.
So, let’s explore this post on the seven better things you can do instead of settling for less in a relationship.
Why Settling for Less Is Not an Option
You might think settling for less is better than being alone, but it’s not.
Settling for less means sacrificing your happiness and self-respect for the sake of being in a relationship. That’s not fair to you or your partner.
Think about it. Would you want your partner to settle for less in your relationship? Of course not! You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you for who you are. Settling for less than that means you’re not living up to your full potential.
Settling for less is a choice!
You might feel like you have limited options, but that’s not true. You can choose who you want to be with and what you want from a relationship. Don’t settle for less just because it’s easier.
If you settle for less, you’re not only hurting yourself, but also hurting your partner.
Your partner might sense that you’re not fully invested in the relationship, which can lead to resentment and unhappiness. It’s better to be honest with yourself and your partner about what you want and need in a relationship.
You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and fulfils your needs. Settling for less than that is not an option. It might take time to find the right person, but it’s worth it in the end.
So, here are other better things to do instead.
1. Define What You Deserve in a Relationship
Do you know what you deserve in a relationship? It’s not always easy to define, but it’s essential to understand what you want clearly and need from a partner.
Think about your past relationships. What made you happy, and what didn’t? What qualities do you value in a partner, and what qualities are deal-breakers for you? These are all salient questions when defining what you deserve in a relationship.
It’s also necessary to recognise that your needs and wants might change.
What you wanted in a partner five years ago might not be the same as what you want now. It’s okay to reassess and adjust your expectations as you grow and change.
Defining what you deserve in a relationship might take some trial and error. You might find that certain qualities you thought were important are actually not as important as you thought.
Or, you might discover new qualities that you didn’t realise were important to you.
Having high standards for what you want in a partner is okay. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and fulfils your needs.
Don’t settle for less than what you deserve just because you’re afraid of being alone or because you feel like you don’t deserve better.
By defining what you deserve in a relationship, you’re setting yourself up for a happier and more fulfilling future.
2. Clarify Your Values, Needs, and Boundaries
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you’re unsure of your values, needs, and boundaries? It happens to the best of us, but take the time to figure them out.
Your values are the principles and beliefs that are most important to you. They can include things like honesty, loyalty, and kindness.
On the other hand, your needs are the things that you require to feel happy and fulfilled in a relationship, such as affection, communication, and respect.
At the same time, your boundaries are the limits you set to protect yourself, such as not tolerating emotional or physical abuse.
When you’re clear on your values, needs, and boundaries, you’re better equipped to communicate them to your partner; thus, leading to a stronger and more respectful relationship where both partners feel heard and valued.
So take the time to clarify what’s important to you. Think about your past relationships and what did and didn’t work.
Consider your own strengths and weaknesses and what you need from a partner to complement and support you.
Clarifying your values, needs, and boundaries is not about being picky or demanding but about respecting yourself and your partner and creating a healthy and fulfilling relationship for both of you..
You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel happy, fulfilled, and respected. When you’re clear on what you want and need from a relationship, you’re less likely to settle for less than you deserve. So go ahead and take the time to clarify your values, needs, and boundaries.
3. Learn to Communicate Effectively and Assertively
Learning to communicate effectively and assertively is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your relationships. It might seem difficult initially, but it’s achievable with practice and patience.
Effective communication involves being clear, honest, and respectful in your interactions with others.
It’s about expressing your needs and wants in an assertive but not aggressive way. This can help you set healthy boundaries and ensure that your relationships meet your needs.
One way to practice effective communication is by using “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
For example, instead of saying, “You always do this,” try saying, “I feel hurt when this happens.” This shifts the focus to your own feelings and experiences rather than blaming the other person.
Another important aspect of effective communication is active listening. This means really paying attention to what the other person is saying and validating their feelings.
Reflecting back on what your partner said and asking clarifying questions can help you understand their perspective and build stronger connections.
Assertiveness is also a key component of effective communication. Being assertive means standing up for yourself and expressing your needs clearly and directly.
It’s paramount to do this respectfully and non-judgmentally, without attacking or belittling the other person.
Learning to communicate effectively and assertively can take time, but it’s worth the effort. It can help you build stronger and more fulfilling relationships and ensure you’re not settling for less than you deserve.
4. Recognise and Address Red Flags and Deal Breakers
Another significant step to avoid settling for less than you deserve in a relationship is recognising and addressing red flags and deal breakers.
You know those warning signs that tell you some things aren’t right or those behaviours that go against your values or needs?
Yep, those are the red flags and deal-breakers we’re talking about.
Identifying and addressing can be challenging, especially if you’re emotionally invested in a relationship.
But paying attention to your instincts and feelings and being honest about what you can and cannot tolerate in a relationship is crucial.
Don’t let fear or the desire to please others becloud your judgment.
If something doesn’t sit right with you, or if your partner is crossing a boundary that you’ve set, speak up and address it. It may not always be easy, but it’s worth it, in the long run, to ensure that you’re in a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
5. Build Your Self-Confidence and Self-Love
Are you ready to build up your self-confidence and self-love? It’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself regarding relationships.
When you feel confident and love yourself, you’re more likely to attract healthy and fulfilling relationships.
So, how can you build up your self-confidence and self-love?
It’s not always easy, but it is definitely achievable.
You can focus on your strengths and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they seem. Acknowledge what makes you unique and special, and don’t be afraid to embrace them.
Another thing you can do is practice self-care. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make time for the things that make you happy and fulfilled, whether reading a book, going for a walk, or spending time with loved ones.
When you prioritise your own needs and happiness, you send a powerful message to yourself and others that you deserve to be treated well.
It’s also pivotal to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. We all make mistakes and have flaws, and that’s okay. Instead of beating yourself up, treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend.
Lastly, surround yourself with positive and supportive people who lift you and make you feel good about yourself. When you’re around people who believe in you and your worth, it’s easier to believe in yourself too.
6. Consider Ending the Relationship if It Becomes Toxic
Sometimes, things can become toxic, no matter how much you want a relationship to work. It can be hard to admit, but sometimes ending the relationship is the best thing you can do for yourself.
If your partner is abusive, disrespectful, or consistently dismissive of your feelings and needs, you must recognise that you deserve better.
Staying in a toxic relationship can damage your mental health and self-esteem, and it can make it harder for you to find a healthy, fulfilling relationship in the future.
Of course, ending a relationship is never easy, especially if you still care about the person.
It’s okay to prioritise your own well-being and walk away from a relationship that isn’t serving you. But sometimes, taking care of yourself means making hard choices.
If you’re unsure whether your relationship has become toxic, ask yourself some questions.
Are you often unhappy or stressed because of the relationship? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner?
Are you scared to express your thoughts and feelings? These can all be signs that the relationship has become unhealthy.
Ending a toxic relationship can be scary, but it can also be liberating. You’ll have more time and energy to focus on yourself and find a truly fulfilling relationship.
You deserve to be with someone who treats you with kindness and respect.
7. Take Action to Prioritise Your Well-Being in Relationships:
Regarding relationships, putting your partner’s needs before your own is easy. You may feel like you have to compromise or settle for less to make things work.
Prioritizing your well-being is not selfish. In fact, it’s essential if you want to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Taking action to prioritise your well-being in relationships can mean different things to different people. It might involve setting boundaries, speaking up for yourself, or taking time for self-care.
Whatever it looks like for you, you must recognise that you deserve to be happy and respected in your relationships.
One way to prioritise your well-being is to clarify your values, needs, and boundaries. This might involve reflecting on your important needs and communicating those needs and boundaries to your partner.
Having these conversations is not always easy and essential for establishing trust and mutual respect.
Another way to prioritise your well-being is to build your self-confidence and self-love. This might involve practising self-care, setting goals and pursuing your passions.
Feeling good about yourself makes you more likely to attract positive and healthy relationships.
Of course, prioritising your well-being in relationships is not always easy. You may encounter challenges and setbacks along the way.
But taking action and being intentional about your needs and boundaries can create a foundation for healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Departing Thoughts
I hope you found these seven better things to do instead of settling for less than you deserve in a relationship helpful in your journey towards a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Always bear in mind that you deserve to be with someone who respects and cherishes you.
I encourage you to continue reading posts on this blog and engaging with me in the comments section.
Share your experiences, ask questions, and let’s support each other in our journey towards love and happiness.
So go ahead and take the first step towards a better relationship.
You deserve it!
