Rejoice Njoku
Have you ever found yourself constantly seeking validation from your partner? It’s a common behaviour that many of us engage in, but it can be detrimental to our self-esteem and, ultimately, our relationships.
Let me paint a picture for you. You’ve just finished a big project at work, and you’re eager to share it with your partner. You’re hoping for some validation, maybe a compliment or two, to boost your confidence.
But instead, your partner brushes it off or doesn’t give you the reaction you were hoping for. Suddenly, your confidence takes a hit, and you feel like all your hard work was for nothing. Sound familiar?
Relying on your partner for validation can create a cycle of seeking external approval rather than building your own self-worth. Also, it can be an indication of some self-esteem issues lurking in the background.
This can lead to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and even resentment towards your partner. Plus, it puts an unfair burden on them to constantly provide praise and validation for you.
So, what can you do instead?
In this post, we’re going to explore 10 better things you can do to build your self-esteem and find fulfilment outside of your relationship. From taking up a new hobby to practising self-care, we’ll offer practical tips and personal experiences to inspire you on your journey towards a healthier, happier you.
Let’s get your self-esteem levels to an all-time high, shall we?
Focus On Personal Growth and Development
Let’s talk about the importance of focusing on personal growth and development as a way to build self-esteem and confidence and as a healthy alternative to seeking validation from your significant other.
When you’re constantly seeking validation from your partner, you may neglect your own personal growth and development.
So, how can you focus on personal growth and development?
One way is to set personal goals for yourself. What are some things you’ve always wanted to do or achieve? Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn a new language or take up a new hobby.
Whatever it is, set a goal for yourself and work towards it. Achieving personal goals can be a great way to build self-esteem and confidence.
Do this constantly and consistently, and after a while, you won’t need your partner to affirm you before you feel like you have done well.
Another way to focus on personal growth and development is to prioritize self-care. This could be anything from taking a relaxing bath to going for a walk in nature. Taking care of yourself can help you feel more confident and self-assured.
You could also try taking up meditation or mindfulness practices. These practices can help you become more self-aware and present in the moment.
Personal growth and development can also be achieved through education and learning. Take a class or read a book on a topic that interests you. Learning something new can be a great way to build self-esteem and confidence.
In my own experience, focusing on personal growth and development has helped me feel more confident and fulfilled in my own life.
When I’m working towards my own goals and taking care of myself, I feel less reliant on external validation and more self-assured.
So, what personal goals can you set for yourself? What self-care practices do you enjoy? How can you prioritize your own personal growth and development? These are all questions worth exploring as you work towards building your self-esteem and confidence.
Take up a New Hobby or Activity
Maybe it’s time to try something new. Taking up a new hobby or activity can be a great way to find fulfilment and purpose outside of your relationship.
By engaging in activities that bring you joy, you can build you will be less reliant on your partner for praise.
There are endless possibilities when it comes to hobbies and activities you can try.Have you ever wanted to try painting or photography? How about learning a new language or musical instrument?
The important thing is to choose something that you are genuinely interested in and passionate about.
Not only can taking up a new hobby or activity boost your self-esteem, but it can also help you to meet new people and expand your social circle.
Joining a local club or group related to your new hobby can provide you with a sense of community and support.
If you’re not sure where to start, consider trying one of these popular hobbies or activities:
- Yoga or meditation: a great way to reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
- Cooking or baking: try out new recipes and impress your loved ones with your culinary skills.
- Running or hiking: great for physical and mental health.
- Reading or writing: escape into a good book or try your hand at creative writing.
Remember, the key is to find something that you enjoy and that brings you a sense of purpose.
Taking up a new hobby or activity can be a fun and fulfilling way to build your self-esteem and confidence outside of your relationship. Why not give it a try and see what new adventures await you?
Spend Time With Friends and Family
If your primary source of validation and happiness is your partner, it’s time to remember the other important relationships in your life!
Spending time with friends and family can be a great way to boost your overall happiness and well-being.
Research has shown that strong social support is associated with better mental health, lower stress levels, and even a longer lifespan.
Think about the people in your life who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. Maybe it’s your childhood best friend who always knows how to make you laugh, or your sibling who is a great listener.
Making time for these connections can be incredibly rewarding. Plus, you’ll be strengthening your other relationships and building a network of support that goes beyond your romantic partnership.
Of course, it’s not always easy to stay connected with loved ones, especially when life gets busy. But making an effort to prioritize these relationships can pay off in a big way.
Here are some practical tips for spending more time with friends and family:
- Schedule regular check-ins: Set a recurring date to catch up with a friend or family member. Whether it’s a weekly phone call or a monthly coffee date, having something on the calendar can help ensure that you stay in touch.
- Try new activities together: Looking for a fun way to spend time together? Consider taking up a new hobby or activity, but this time, with your loved ones. Whether it’s trying a new restaurant, taking a dance class, or going on a hike, sharing new experiences can help you bond and create lasting memories.
- Be present in the moment: When you’re spending time with loved ones, try to be fully present in the moment. Put away your phone and focus on the conversation. Show genuine interest in what they have to say and be open to learning new things about them.
- Show appreciation: Don’t forget to show your loved ones how much you appreciate them! Whether it’s a heartfelt thank you or a small gesture of kindness, expressing gratitude can help strengthen your relationships and make you feel good in the process.
Remember, your romantic relationship is just one piece of the puzzle. Don’t forget about the other important connections in your life!
By spending time with friends and family, you’ll be building a support network that can help you feel more confident and fulfilled in all areas of your life.
Volunteer or Engage in a Cause
I love to volunteer, and I have for a long time. It’s amazing what doing stuff for others will do to you. It’s like reverse psychology, really.
Instead of seeking validation from your partner, you can find it by making a difference in the world around you. Volunteering and engaging in a cause that you care about can bring a sense of purpose and fulfilment that can’t be found in a relationship.
Not only does volunteering benefit others, but it also has numerous benefits for you: reduced stress and symptoms of depression, improved physical health, and increased happiness and life satisfaction are just a few among them.
Volunteering also provides opportunities for social interaction and skill development.
There are countless organizations and causes that could benefit from your time and skills. If you’re an animal lover, consider volunteering at a local animal shelter or wildlife rehabilitation center.
If you’re passionate about education, look into tutoring or mentoring programs in your community. If you’re interested in environmental issues, check out local conservation organizations or community gardening projects.
Volunteering doesn’t have to be a big commitment, either. Even just a few hours a month can make a difference. And if you can’t find a local organization that interests you, consider starting your own initiative. You never know what impact you could have on your community.
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is important for your mental health and well-being, which are important components of self-worth and esteem.
It helps you feel refreshed, energized, and ready to take on the world. Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming, and there are plenty of things you can do to practice it daily.
One of the easiest ways to practice self-care is by taking care of your physical health. This includes getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly.
Not only will this help you feel better physically, but it will also boost your mood and reduce stress.
Another way to practice self-care is by doing things that bring you joy and relaxation. This could be as simple as taking a bubble bath, reading a book, or watching your favourite TV show.
Find activities that make you feel good and make time for them regularly.
It’s also important to take care of your mental health. You could try meditation or journaling. You’ll feel relaxed and focused when you do, which is good for you.
Remember, self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being so that you can be the best version of yourself for your partner and those around you.
So, take a few moments every day to do something just for you. You deserve it!
Develop a New Skill or Take an Online Course
In today’s digital world, there are endless opportunities to learn and grow right at your fingertips.
Learning a new skill or taking an online course can be a great way to build your confidence and expand your knowledge.
It can also be a way to find new passions and interests. Have you ever wanted to learn how to code, or maybe you’re wondering what the rave is about digital marketing? The possibilities are endless!
Taking an online course can also be a convenient way to fit learning into your busy schedule. You can work at your own pace and learn from the comfort of your own home. Plus, many online courses are affordable or even free!
I have taken several online courses over the years, and it has been a great way to keep my mind sharp and explore new topics. I’ve learned how to design websites, improve my writing skills, and even how to play the guitar!
If you’re not sure where to start, there are many resources available to help you find the right course or skill to develop.
You can check out websites like Udemy, Skillshare, or Coursera. You can also look for local classes or workshops in your community.
Remember, learning a new skill or taking an online course isn’t just about adding something new to your resume or impressing others.
It’s about challenging yourself, growing as a person, and discovering new passions and interests. So, what new skill will you learn next?
Travel and Explore New Places
Do you love to travel and explore new places? If you do, then you’re in luck because traveling and exploration can be one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Not only does it allow you to see new things and experience new cultures, but it can also help you grow as a person and gain a new perspective on life.
Travelling can help you break out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself in new ways. Whether you’re backpacking through a foreign country or exploring a new city, you’ll be forced to navigate unfamiliar situations and rely on your own instincts and problem-solving skills.
This can be incredibly empowering and can help you develop a sense of confidence and resilience.
Exploring new places can also help you gain a new perspective on life. Seeing how other cultures live and experiencing different ways of life can help you realize that there is no one “right” way to live.
It can also help you appreciate the beauty and diversity of the world and help you develop a greater sense of empathy and understanding for others.
Now, I know that international travel may not be an option for everyone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t explore new places. There are plenty of local destinations that you can visit that may be just as rewarding.
Maybe there’s a nearby national park or hiking trail you’ve always wanted to check out or a new city or town you’ve never been to. The key is to challenge yourself to step out of your routine and explore something new.
Start planning your next adventure and get ready to explore new places and gain a new perspective on life.
And don’t forget to take plenty of pictures and create memories that will last a lifetime.
Pursue a Passion or Dream
Pursuing a passion or dream can be just the thing you need to break out of that cycle of seeking validation from someone else.
Maybe you had a wild dream or goal for yourself that you never thought was possible, or perhaps you put it on hold for the sake of your relationship.
Well, guess what? It’s never too late to pick it back up again. Time waits for no one, and you deserve to pursue something that truly excites and fulfils you.
The beauty of pursuing a passion or dream is that it can take many forms. Maybe you’ve been itching to start your own business. Whatever it is, take the time to explore it and see where it takes you.
When you pursue a passion or dream, you’re not just doing something for yourself; you’re also contributing something valuable to the world. Maybe your passion is writing, and you can share your stories and experiences with others. Or perhaps you’re passionate about environmental activism, and you can work to make a positive impact on the planet.
It’s also worth noting that pursuing a passion or dream can be a great way to meet new people and make connections.
Whether it’s through attending events, joining groups, or networking, you never know who you might meet and what opportunities could come your way.
You should know that pursuing a passion or dream isn’t always easy. It can take time, effort, and even some setbacks along the way.
But that’s all part of the journey, and the sense of accomplishment and fulfillment you’ll feel when you reach your goal will make it all worth it.
So, what are you waiting for? Take that first step towards pursuing your passion or dream, and see where it takes you. Remember, you have the power to create your own validation and purpose in life.
Learning to Validate Yourself
Learning to validate yourself is an important step in building self-confidence and self-love. It means recognizing your own worth and not relying on others to determine your value. So, how can you start validating yourself?
One practical tip is to practice positive self-talk. Look in the mirror every day and say kind and loving things to yourself. It may feel silly at first, but it can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself. You can also write down affirmations and repeat them throughout the day.
Another way to validate yourself is to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Make a list of all the things you’re proud of and the things you’ve achieved. Reflect on them regularly and remind yourself that you are capable and worthy.
When you feel confident and secure in yourself, you’ll be less likely to seek validation from others, and your relationships will benefit.
Final Thoughts
You’ve made it to the end of the post, and hopefully, you’ve found some valuable insights and tips to help you break the cycle of seeking constant validation from your partner.
Remember, it’s essential to have a healthy and positive relationship with yourself before seeking validation from others.
Instead of relying on your partner for validation, try focusing on self-care, pursuing your passions, and exploring new experiences. Take time to reflect on what makes you unique and special, and learn to appreciate and validate yourself.
It’s not always easy to break old habits, but with patience, practice, and persistence, you can learn to build your selfworth and live a more fulfilling life.
Remember that self-validation is a journey, and it’s okay to stumble along the way. Be kind to yourself, celebrate your successes, and keep moving forward.
So, take action today and start implementing these tips and suggestions into your life. You deserve to feel confident, secure and loved, and it all starts with you.
