Bukola Arikawe
Seeking validation from your romantic partner is normal, even healthy, as it strengthens emotional connection and builds a sense of security.
Albeit, relying solely on external validation can chip away at your own sense of self-worth, leaving you feeling incomplete and uncertain.
Self-worth comes is all about recognizing your own value, embracing your uniqueness, and having an unshakable belief in yourself.
Achieving this requires maintaining a healthy sense of identity and confidence while navigating the beautiful messiness of love.
In this post, you’ll learn practical tips and strategies that’ll empower you to find that equilibrium between seeking validation and preserving your self-worth.
Let’s get started!
Understand Your Own Needs, Desires, and Boundaries
Understanding your own needs, desires, and boundaries is a powerful tool that helps you navigate the tricky terrain of a relationship and stay true to yourself, no matter how strong the winds of validation may blow.
As humans, we sometimes get so caught up in seeking validation that we forget to listen to the whispers of our own hearts.
Understanding your own needs means tuning in to that inner voice and giving it the respect it deserves.
It means recognizing that your desires matter, that your boundaries are valid, and that you are worthy of love and acceptance just the way you are.
This whole self-discovery thing can indeed feel as intimidating as a haunted house on Halloween night.
Nonetheless, start by taking small steps. Give yourself permission to explore what truly lights you up, makes your heart skip a beat, and brings you a sense of fulfilment.
Express Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Concerns With Your Partner
Communication is the glue that holds relationships together.
When you open up to your partner or let those thoughts and emotions flow freely, it’s like releasing a weight off your shoulders.
It also feels like a breath of fresh air, rejuvenating your connection.
The truth is you deserve to be heard and understood, and your partner deserves the chance to truly know you.
When you have an open and honest dialogue with your partner, it creates a space for vulnerability and growth. It builds trust and deepens your bond.
Some questions begging for answers could be, ‘What if your partner doesn’t receive your thoughts and concerns with open arms? Or ‘What if they react differently than you expected?’
That’s where the art of understanding and compromise comes in.
Expressing yourself isn’t just about spilling your guts—it’s also about actively listening and respecting your partner’s perspective.
Avoid Relying Solely on Your Partner for Validation
Your partner’s validation and appreciation are very important.
Albeit, validation is an inside job. It’s about recognizing your own worth and celebrating your own victories, whether or not your partner is around to give you a high-five.
You see, relying solely on your partner for validation is like handing over the remote control of your self-worth to someone else. It’s like expecting them to hold up a mirror and show you how amazing you are without recognizing your own reflection.
On the contrary, you are the protagonist of your own story, the captain of your own ship. It’s time to take charge and embrace the power of self-validation.
I’m aware that society bombards us daily with messages that our worth depends on external validation and that we need someone else’s approval to feel good about ourselves.
Nevertheless, true validation comes from within.
It’s about acknowledging your own strengths, embracing your imperfections, and recognizing that you are enough, with or without external validation.
Cultivate Self-Love and Self-Care
Imagine a flower blossoming in a sun-kissed garden. It starts as a tiny bud, unsure of its potential.
But as it soaks up the nourishing rays of sunlight, it begins to unfold, petal by petal, revealing its vibrant beauty.
That’s you! Just like that flower, you have the power to nurture your own growth.
Self-love isn’t about being perfect or having it all figured out. It’s about embracing your quirks and imperfections and loving yourself unconditionally.
It’s giving yourself permission to prioritize your needs and desires without guilt or judgment. It’s a daily practice, a gentle reminder that you deserve happiness and fulfilment.
On its part, self-care is about tuning in to your mind, body, and soul and giving them the tender care they crave. It’s that stolen moment of solitude where you recharge your batteries and reconnect with yourself.
Life throws curveballs, and self-love and self-care won’t magically erase all the challenges. There will be days when you feel like you’re barely treading water. That’s okay.
Just keep in mind that self-love is also about showing yourself compassion and grace during those tough times.
Set Goals and Work Towards Self-Improvement
Navigating the thin line between validation and self-worth in your relationship is just like running a marathon—it takes dedication, perseverance, and a strong sense of purpose.
Setting goals is like creating a roadmap for your personal growth. It’s about identifying the areas where you want to improve, whether it’s learning a new skill, becoming more emotionally resilient, or embracing a healthier lifestyle.
These goals are your stepping stones towards becoming the best version of yourself, independent of external validation.
That said, achieving self-improvement is not an overnight miracle. It’s a journey that unfolds over time.
The extent to which you can achieve self-improvement is limitless. It’s like a garden of possibilities, waiting for you to sow the seeds of change and watch them bloom.
So, start by identifying specific, realistic goals that align with your values and aspirations. Break them down into bite-sized steps, like taking small leaps towards the finish line.
Celebrate each milestone, no matter how small, and let them fuel your motivation to keep going.
Surround Yourself With Supportive People
Supportive people lift you up when you’re feeling down. They’re the ones who see your potential, even when you doubt yourself.
They listen without judgment, offer a shoulder to lean on, and believe in you when you struggle to believe in yourself. They’re your champions and biggest fans.
Finding supportive people doesn’t mean they’ll be flawless or always available. Life happens, and sometimes they might have their own battles to fight.
In contrast, it’s about building a network of individuals who genuinely care about your well-being and who show up when it matters most.
Supportive people can come in different forms—a close friend, a family member, or even a mentor. It’s about surrounding yourself with those who uplift you, challenge you to grow, and celebrate your successes.
Be that as it may, it’s not just about receiving support—it’s also about being a supportive presence in others’ lives.
It’s a beautiful cycle of give and take, where you inspire and empower each other to reach new heights.
Practice Self-Validation
Practising self-validation is like becoming your very own trophy presenter, recognizing and applauding your own accomplishments, big or small.
The extent to which you can achieve self-validation is as vast as the universe itself, waiting for you to tap into its infinite power.
Self-validation is about tuning in to your inner voice and embracing the belief that your feelings, experiences, and worth are valid, regardless of what others may say or think.
It’s like owning a treasure chest of self-approval, where you hold the key and decide your own worth.
When you practice self-validation, you become the master of your own happiness. You stop relying on external sources to define your worth and start nurturing that beautiful flame of self-acceptance from within.
Practising self-validation is not always a walk in the park. There will be days when self-doubt creeps in like a mischievous little gremlin, questioning your worth.
Know that you have the power to silence that gremlin and shine your own light.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
Sometimes, the thin line between validation and self-worth becomes too tangled and too overwhelming to navigate on your own. That’s when a trained professional, like a therapist or counsellor, can provide valuable guidance.
They have the tools and knowledge to help you unravel complexities, heal wounds, and find a healthier balance.
Seeking professional help doesn’t mean there’s something inherently wrong with you or your relationship. It’s a courageous step towards growth and healing.
Just like an athlete working with a coach to enhance performance, or a musician taking lessons to refine their skills, you’re investing in your own emotional well-being.
Therapy or counselling provides a safe space for you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and relationship dynamics.
These professionals help you gain clarity, develop effective communication strategies, and identify patterns that may be hindering your progress.
Ignore whatever stigma that may be around seeking professional help.
Rather, knowing that taking care of your mental and emotional health is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and resilience.
It’s an investment in your happiness and the well-being of your relationship.
Rounding Off
It feels really good to know that you got to the end of this post.
But this is just the beginning. The world of relationships is a vast and ever-evolving landscape, and we’ve only scratched the surface.
So, if you’ve found value in this journey, buckle up because there’s more where that came from.
Keep an eye out for future articles where I’ll dive deeper into more communication strategies, boundary-setting techniques, and the intricacies of vulnerability and trust in relationships.
Kindly drop a comment below and share your thoughts, experiences, and insights.
Thanks for reading.
