Factors to Consider Before Starting a Relationship

3 Critical Factors to Consider Before Starting a Relationship

So, what are the factors to consider before starting or entering a new relationship? How do you know that an admirer is worth your heart before you agree to court them? or How to Know if Someone Loves You Before You Agree on a Relationship with them?

That’s exactly why you are here. so let’s roll.

She’s one of my subscribers on WhatsApp and so she asked…

“Sir, there is this guy that is coming for me. I want to know if he really loves me before I’ll go into a relationship with him.”

When I saw her thirst for knowledge, as I would always do, I just must help give her the best. Just then, the conversation below ensued.

Hint: I’ll use Josephine as her pseudonym, and my real name remains Olalekan.

So follow me.

Josephine: Sir, there is this guy that is coming for me. I want to know if he really loves me before I’ll go into a relationship with him.”

Olalekan: Good. Let’s talk and I’ll tell you all you need to know

Josephine: Ok sir.

Olalekan: I’ll start by asking you a question; here is it:

“If a blind man is to travel to a city and then there’s a driver who volunteers to drive him there; how will the blind man be sure that he will be taken to his destination since he is blind?”

Josephine: It is by trust, of course. When you trust someone you will believe what the person is saying

Olalekan: Trust?

So it means the blind person should let a trusted fellow drive him to his destination?

Josephine: Yes

Olalekan: Funny enough, the driver is planning to drive the blind man for the very first time. In fact, they’ve not had any dealings before.

How will the blind person know that the driver can be trusted since it’s the first time he’s making such an offer to help the blind person?

Josephine: This question… Hmmm….

I don’t know what else to say to answer this. Please tell me.

Olalekan: Good.

I see it’s difficult for you to understand, right?

Josephine: Yes

Olalekan: For the blind man, the best way isn’t to only trust the one that’s driving him to his destination. The best option is to first get his sight.

If he can see (if he’s not blind), the driver will think twice to drive him to a wrong destination. And even if he doesn’t know much about the city, he only might need to ask the people who know about it, or have been there, before he will embark on the journey. He even will ask for directions as they go on the journey, just to be sure he’s nor being driven to a wrong destination.

Receiving his sight is Getting Enough Knowledge. Knowledge is Light. Knowledge is Power.

Do you understand that by now?

Josephine: Yes. Very well.

Olalekan: The blind person is like the average human being.

They heard about love in a relationship and of its inherent bliss for those who enjoy it; they want to be a part of the testimony, but don’t know what it takes or means to love.

To be a blind person is to not understand what love entails.

If you know what it is to love, and know what love itself is, you will know if someone loves you or not.

Josephine: Hmmm.

Olalekan: Here is more. For instance, some lady will be like… “He doesn’t love me.” When you ask why they think so, they say “Because he doesn’t buy things for me.” To this category of people, to love someone is to buy something for them. And whether the person cares about their career or not, they are not really concerned.

To another category of people, your investment in their future is what makes them happy. Even if you’re not giving them any perishables in the now, they are not moved as long as you are doing you best possible to see that their future success is ascertained.

So your knowledge of love is pivotal to what you’ll get out of love.

If you believe that someone who loves you will see that you are okay in your career, then if they don’t do anything to help you career wise, you will be quick to judge that they don’t love you.

Corroboratively, to know if the person loves you, you need to know what you want out of love first.

And if they do things towards that, you can say they love you.

That’s where the conversation with Josephine ended. Now let me talk to you as a reader of this post.

By now you’re happy that you know the answer right? You are wrong – you don’t really know it all. Yes!

Follow me and I’ll tell you the complete gist.

So… How should you really know that someone loves you before you’re about to start a relationship with them?

Do you really want to learn? If yes, then make yourself comfortable wherever you are and follow me as you continue on the paragraphs below.

Do You want to Know the Three Factors You Need to Consider Before Going into a New Relationship with Your Admirer?

 Here are the 3 Factors to Consider before You Go into a New Relationship


1. You Need to Know Yourself

Let me guess that you love yourself. Clap for me!

But if I may ask, how do you love what you don’t know anything about? That’s way too unthinkable, right? That’s it.

So, who are you?

A pretty lady with a “figure eight” body structure and a dazzling eyeballs that are capable of hypnotizing a man?

A handsome dude with a commanding figure and a bank account that’s as fat as a big fat hen?

Well, knowing yourself goes beyond the physical appearance, which some people have used as a yardstick for their happiness or sadness.

If people think she’s not beautiful, she begins to see herself as not worth the best of a partner, so she’s ready to settle for just any guy that comes her way. That’s foolishness – I can reiterate that!

And the moment he perceives that people don’t want to reckon with him in the society, he withdraws himself into his own cocoon of defeat, and never planning to get out of it. Hey, Mr Man, that’s idiotic – and I can also reiterate that!

Knowing yourself has nothing to do with your present financial status, physical look, social class and anything that the physical eyes can see; it has to do with your life, passion, career, ambition belief, your devotion, goals, plans, and VISION.

If you can see where you’re going in life, not just anyhow person can come your way.

Dear, don’t limit yourself. Okay? Don’t settle for the less. Don’t let low self-esteem rub you of your potentials. You are great. You are more than this. Never let your social status blind you of the inherent ebullience that’s in your future ambition. Get your life going. A promise? Clap for yourself.

Here’s more…

If you Know Yourself, You Will See Your Future in Him or Her

That’s simple, right?

See, it’s not really important that your admirer loves you and is willing to jump down a skyscraper or swim the deepest of oceans for you. It’s nothing, even, that they want to give you their spirit, soul and body.

The more crucial fact is that you have to know if you love them; you have to see your potential spouse in them. As a lady, you have to be able to look at him in the face and see a semblance of your future husband in him. And, as a man, you must look at her and see your future wife in her.

Hey! I didn’t ask you to just jump at that on the first date. Don’t just grab them on the first outing because there is every possibility that your feelings would play you in.

Give yourself enough time to see yourself with them in the nearest future.

But… Wait!

How will you see a future partner in them without first seeing your future? How do you know that someone will be great enough to fit into a future you don’t have a glimpse of?

That’s unreasonable, right?

That’s exactly why I wrote the book, Relationship Compatibility Test. (If you’ve not read it… Contact me on motivatedolalekan@gmail.com or +2348032503305 and I will give you the book for free.)

What next… ?

2. You Need to Love Yourself

So, what is love?

If you don’t know how to answer that question, just cover your face and go to sleep. Sleep for Seventy hours and slap yourself seventy-seven times the moment you wake up. Yes!

Smiles… That’s just a joke.

Ordinarily, to love yourself, you’ll have to first know yourself. The knowledge of yourself is the key to loving yourself. We already discussed that in the first point so let’s continue.

Well, love is relative: it means, there’s no perfect definition of love.

Love could mean feelings to a person while it’s an act to someone else – but don’t get confused by this!

Relationship wise, the following definitions should help:

*Love is “feelings and actions” combined to achieve an aim.

*Love is “selfless services” tied to a goal.

From those simple definitions, you should know that it will be defeating to say that “you love someone because you have feelings for him/her.”

Do you know why? It’s because feelings can grow wings and fly away but when your reason of love is tied to a futuristic goal, you will rather look ahead in the face of struggles.

You Need to Love the Other Person too

Since you also need to love the person that’s trying to court you, then it’s sacrosanct you understand that it’s beyond those funny feelings you have for them.

And your view of your future is enough to love yourself.
Do you love what you see when you close your eyes and look into your future? I mean, those beautiful cities… Those wonderful kids… Those companies? If yes, then you love yourself.

And, what next…?

3. He Needs to Love Himself; She Needs to Love Herself.

Let’s go back to the blind man’s example…

Okay, the blind man has received his sight and he is beside the driver’s car. Suddenly, he notices the car doesn’t have a brake pedal. Looking further, the headlamp isn’t working and, obviously, the tyres are bad; in fact, one is already leaking.

What would you say? I’m sure you will not embark on such a journey with him. And I hope if the erstwhile blind man were to go on the journey before he regained his sight, he wouldn’t have seen the bad state of the car.

As you can see, somebody like that doesn’t care to die. And they don’t care to take you down their destruction lane with them. That will not be your portion! Amen.

It’s simple to know if your admirer loves himself (or herself)


By simply examining what he (or she) does, what he (or she) knows, the company they keep, their philosophy of life, their way of life, their passion, their character and their belief… Well, the list still goes on.

More importantly, you need to know what they understand about love and relationship. You even need to know what they would love to see in their potential partner. You need to ask enough questions to know if they love themselves.

Read this: Must-Ask Questions in a Relationship

Simply put, someone who doesn’t love themselves will never love you.

He has to know where he’s going. She has to know where he’s going. You have to know what they are capable of. And you have to know just anything about them.


  1. To know if someone really loves you, you must know what true love is. You must have a firsthand knowledge of love. And you must understand love beyond feelings.
  2. You must be able to look ahead and see your future partner in them. 
  3. You must see visible signs that they love themselves. No matter how much they love you, you will hate being in any relationship with them if they don’t love themselves. It takes loving oneself to love another person.

A Request from You:

If you have gained anything from this post, I encourage you to share it so that your friends will also learn.

And if you have any questions, additions or subtractions, kindly drop them in the comment box below.

That’s all. Thanks for your time.


  1. It is sure a good hand piece,i pray you keep up the good work,and please i did notice some spelling error at the start,i think you should correct it.
    I believe you intended to write “an” instead of the “and” which is found there..
    Thanks man,permit me say don’t stop bringing it on.
    May God bless and increase you more..

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