Olalekan Adebumiti
Oh, look at you.
I see that smirk. You clicked on this link with a whole lot of confidence, didn’t you?
You’re sitting there, ready to mentally check off every single item on this list because you know your man is top-tier.
You aren’t looking for advice.
You’re looking for a victory lap. You’re just here to gloat.
You want to read this and think, “Ugh, my boyfriend does this constantly, it’s honestly exhausting how much he loves me.”
Must be nice. Really. We’re all so happy for you.
But hey, maybe you’re not here for yourself.
Maybe you’re just doing some research.
You know, checking the data so you can forward this link to your single bestie or that one friend whose boyfriend still thinks “U up?” constitutes a date.
You’re just “reading for a friend.” Sure. We believe you.
But since you’re already here, let’s see if he actually makes the cut.
Here are the 7 subtle, romantic things that separate the “Average Joes” from the “Keepers.”
1. The “Sidewalk Shuffle” (Without Thinking)
You know exactly what I mean, dear.
You’re walking down the street, talking about nothing, and he subtly grabs your waist and guides you to the inside of the sidewalk, away from the traffic.
He doesn’t make a big show of it. He doesn’t stop and say, “I am protecting you now, maiden!”
He just does it. It’s instinct.
An average guy walks three feet ahead of you while checking his phone.
A good boyfriend treats your physical safety like it’s his personal responsibility, and he does it on autopilot.
2. He Remembers the “Throwaway” Comments
Three weeks ago, you mumbled that you were craving a specific type of donut that you haven’t had since you were twelve.
You forgot you even said it. Today, he walks in with that donut.
Average guys wait for birthdays and anniversaries to do something nice because the calendar tells them to.
Good boyfriends listen to the white noise of your life.
They take mental notes when you’re rambling because they actually care about what makes you smile on a random Tuesday.
3. He Hates Your Enemy More Than You Do
When you come home venting about Sarah from Accounting who stole your stapler and undermined your presentation, an average guy says, “Babe, you’re overreacting, just ignore her.”
A good boyfriend?
He is ready to go to war. He has never met Sarah, but he hates Sarah.
He is offering to drive to your office and egg her car (he won’t, but the offer counts).
He validates your feelings first; he tries to solve the problem second.
He understands that sometimes, you don’t need logic but a teammate.
4. The “Check-In” When You’re Out Without Him
You’re out with your girls. An average guy texts you every 20 minutes asking when you’re coming home because he’s bored/hungry/insecure. It’s annoying.
A good boyfriend texts you once: “Hope you’re having fun! Let me know when you’re in an Uber so I know you’re safe. Love you.”
He wants you to have a life. He’s secure enough to let you shine on your own, but he loves you enough to want to know you made it home in one piece.
5. He Doesn’t “Help” With Chores — He Just Does Them
Average guys wait for you to assign them tasks like a project manager. “Babe, what do you want me to do?”
A good boyfriend sees a full trash can and… gasp… takes it out. He sees dishes in the sink and washes them.
He understands that he lives there too (or stays there often) and that you are his partner, not his mother.
There is nothing less sexy than having to beg a grown man to pick up a wet towel.
There is nothing sexier than coming home to a clean kitchen you didn’t have to ask for.
6. He holds the “Uncomfortable” Space
You’re crying. Maybe you’re hormonal, maybe you’re stressed, maybe you don’t even know why.
An average guy panics. He tries to fix it immediately, so you stop crying because your emotions make him uncomfortable.
A good boyfriend just holds you. He kisses the top of your head.
He lets you be a mess. He knows that you are a storm sometimes, and he isn’t afraid of the rain.
He stays right there in the discomfort with you until the sun comes back out.
7. He Brags About You When You Aren’t There
This is the big one.
You catch him talking to his mom or his boys, and you hear him say, “Yeah, she crushed that presentation,” or “She’s so funny, you have to hear her story about…”
He is your hype man behind closed doors.
He isn’t just proud of having a girlfriend; he is proud that his girlfriend is you.
The Controversial Bonus Points
(Don’t get mad at me, these are signs he’s actually a high-value man)
8. He Tells You When You’re Wrong
An average guy is a “Simp” (see previous article).
He agrees with everything to keep the peace.
A good boyfriend respects you enough to check you. If you’re being unreasonable or rude, he’ll gently tell you.
He holds you to a higher standard because he knows how great you can be. Iron sharpens iron.
9. He Has a Life That Isn’t You
If he dropped all his friends and hobbies the second he met you, that’s a red flag.
A good boyfriend maintains his poker night.
He goes to the gym. He has passions. Why?
Because he knows that to be a good partner, he has to be a whole person.
His independence makes his time with you more valuable.
10. He Isn’t “Nice” to Everyone
Wait, hear me out. He is polite, yes.
But he isn’t overly available or a people-pleaser to the rest of the world.
He saves his best energy, his deepest patience, and his softest side strictly for you.
He has boundaries with others, so he can be boundless with you.
And that’s it for today…
You can stop smiling at your phone now. Go give him a kiss, or send this to him with a “You passed” caption. You lucky girl.
