Bukola Arikawe
Building a future together is comparable to crafting a masterpiece – it takes time, thought, and a whole lot of heart.
You can’t just throw all your hopes and dreams into a pot and expect them to blend perfectly without some intentional stirring.
This is why I’ve tailor-made these 15 essential things to do first to pave the way for you to have a love story of epic proportions.
They’re crucial pit stops you need to make on this relationship journey before you start scribbling your names on the dream house’s walls or envisioning mini versions of yourselves running around.
So, let’s unravel these secrets to relationship success, one step at a time!
1. Get To Know Each Other
Getting to know each other is akin to peeling those layers off an onion – there’s always something new to uncover!
To know each other, engage in little conversational games like “Never Have I Ever….” In this game, you add or say what you’ve never done in your life before or prior to the relationship.
As you take turns sharing your past escapades (the wild and the hilarious), you’ll realize that this is more than just a game – it’s a glimpse into the heart of your partner’s experiences.
Another is the “What on earth were you thinking?” moment. Embrace those moments – they reveal the human side of your partner and strengthen your connection.
You could also try taking a spontaneous road trip together! There’s something magical about a car ride filled with laughter or singing off-key to your favourite tunes.
These adventures create moments that deepen your understanding of each other and bring you even closer.
Etch it in your minds that it’s not only the big life stories but also the little things that count.
2. Establish Trust
Trust needs the foundation of openness and honesty. It takes being real with each other, with no masks or pretences.
Trust requires being vulnerable, embracing your quirks, and sharing the good, the bad, and the goofy!
But let’s face it, life isn’t a movie, and sometimes trust can get a bit wobbly.
You might find yourself facing challenges or even old scars from past relationships that cast shadows over your love paradise.
Do not fret because, actually, this is where trust blooms like a resilient flower. It’s about understanding and supporting each other, knowing that you’re a team – side by side, no matter what storms may come your way.
Trust can also be likened to a bridge connecting two souls, but without heartfelt conversations, that bridge can get shaky.
Therefore, don’t be afraid to share your feelings, thoughts, and dreams. Trust me, that’s the stuff that strengthens your bond!
3. Communicate Effectively
Silence can be golden, but when it comes to building a future together, it’s time to unleash the power of communication!
I’m not talking about just shooting some texts back and forth or nodding along mindlessly to whatever they say. I’m talking about really connecting, heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul, and all that mushy stuff.
Communication isn’t just about the big talks; it’s also about those tiny gestures.
It’s the little things that add up to a big connection.
As you become fluent in this love language, you’ll find that sharing your thoughts, feelings, and dreams becomes second nature, and that’s when your love story reaches a whole new level of depth and understanding.
Humour is the magic ingredient! Laughter is like the superglue that holds your relationship together.
Thus, don’t be afraid to sprinkle some jokes and funny stories into your daily conversations. It’s like adding a pinch of spice to an already delicious meal!
4. Share Long-Term Goals
Before you and your partner plot the path to forever, make sure your compasses are aligned with your long-term goals.
Having those candid conversations about your goals can be as refreshing as diving into the deep blue sea! But don’t just skim the surface. Delve deeper and explore the ‘why’ behind each goal.
Explore the nitty-gritty details and the challenges that come along with each goal. You might find that your partner dreams of travelling the world while you envision building a business empire.
Now, that’s where the magic happens – finding that sweet spot where your dreams intertwine.
Keep in mind that as you both grow and change, so might your goals. Be flexible, understanding, and willing to adjust course.
The key is to keep those lines of communication open, like a satellite guiding you towards your dream destination.
With a shared vision and the wind in your sails, ye shall weather any storm that comes your way.
5. Be Open About Your Financial Situations
When you’re open about your financial situations, you’re not just planning a future together; you’re becoming financial soulmates.
Being open about your financial stuff is like taking off that heavy backpack you’ve been lugging around for ages.
You’re showing your partner the real you with all the bank statements, debts, and financial dreams laid out on the table.
It’s about as vulnerable as showing them your childhood diary filled with embarrassing doodles and teenage heartache.
Be that as it may, being open about your financial situation is not just about revealing your account balance.
It’s not just about admitting how much you make or how much you owe. It’s about diving deeper and talking about your money habits and beliefs, sharing your financial dreams and fears.
These conversations create a bond that’s stronger than a double-shot espresso!
6. Meet Each Other’s Families
Before you start making plans for a future together, it’s time to embark on a grand adventure – meeting each other’s families.
You might feel like a nervous sailor approaching uncharted waters, and that’s perfectly normal! It’s like when Captain Jack met the legendary Kraken – a mix of excitement and trepidation.
But trust me, it’s an essential step to really know your partner. You’ll learn where they come from, what values they hold dear, and why they are who they are.
Keep in mind that some families may be welcoming with open arms, while others might be a bit hesitant at first.
But do not fear, for your partner will be there to guide you through the family waters!
Facing challenges together will only strengthen your bond and show you how well you can weather any storm life throws your way.
7. Travel Together
I hinted at this in the first point but let’s take a closer look at what this is and what can be achieved through it to ensure your future relationship is birthed successfully.
Travelling together might sound like a romantic fairy tale, but it’s totally doable!
It’s similar to planning a surprise vacation for your partner – a bit of effort, but oh so worth it when you see their face light up with joy!
And guess what? You’re not just travellers; you’re explorers of love, discovering new sides of each other with every step you take.
Note that travelling together isn’t just about visiting far-off lands; it’s also about those simple getaways – like a cosy weekend retreat in a cabin by the lake.
It’s those moments of serenity and connection that make your hearts beat as one.
8. Learn How to Handle Disagreements Constructively
Disagreements are as natural as breathing in a relationship.
It’s almost the same as salt in your popcorn—just the right amount can make it oh-so-delicious, but too much can ruin the whole bowl.
So, it’s not about avoiding disagreements altogether but rather finding that sweet spot of how to handle them constructively.
Communication is the name of the game here. And we’re not talking about just any communication but open, honest, and vulnerable talks.
Imagine sitting down with your partner, with no distractions, just the two of you, and saying, “Hey, babe, when we had that movie night squabble, it made me feel like my opinion didn’t matter.”
You’re not attacking them but expressing how you felt in that moment.
9. Discuss Marriage and Children
Discussing marriage and children isn’t as daunting as it seems; it’s all about being open, honest, and respecting each other’s perspectives.
First things first, ease into it. You don’t want to catch your partner off guard with a sudden, “Hey, let’s talk about babies!”
Be casual, start with some light-hearted chatter, and then gradually steer the conversation toward the more substantial stuff.
You know, like, “So, I was daydreaming about our future together, and it got me wondering… how do you feel about the whole marriage and family thing?”
Avoid making assumptions about what your partner wants. You know what they say about assuming – it makes a you-know-what out of you and me! Just keep the conversation open and non-judgmental.
Now, don’t panic if you both have slightly different views on the matter. The key is to understand each other’s desires, expectations, and fears.
10. Understand Each Other’s Career Ambitions
The best relationships are those where you grow together while giving each other the space to thrive as individuals.
Understanding each other’s career ambitions is in the likeness of exploring uncharted waters together. It’s not about changing each other’s course but sailing side by side towards your goals.
You might be wondering how the heck you can achieve that, right? Well, it’s all about communication and empathy (Yeah, we’re back to this ageless key – communication).
Share stories, tell each other how you got inspired, and let those dreams paint vibrant pictures in your minds. As you talk, you’ll start to see the passion in each other’s eyes, and that’s when the magic happens – you bond over chasing your wildest aspirations!
Sometimes dreams change, just like the weather. Life tosses surprises our way, and career ambitions might shift like the tides. And that’s absolutely okay!
Embrace the changes and adapt. Keep that open dialogue alive, and don’t be afraid to course-correct your plans together. After all, it’s not about reaching a destination; it’s about enjoying the adventure.
Understanding each other’s career ambitions is not a one-and-done task. It’s like nurturing a garden of dreams – you water them with love, attention, and lots of encouragement.
11. Discuss Plans on Joint Finances
Discussing joint finances isn’t just about staring at spreadsheets and crunching numbers. It’s about understanding each other’s financial personalities.
You might be a savvy saver, while your partner loves to splurge on gadgets or shoes.
The best thing to do is to balance your spending styles. Endeavour to be on the same page with your financial dreams. It’s like being co-pilots on the plane of life; you want to steer in the same direction.
Next up, transparency is key. Being honest about your debts, income, and expenses can prevent future surprises or arguments. Plus, it’s a chance to celebrate each other’s financial wins, no matter how small!
Now, let’s talk about those unexpected rainy days. Having an emergency fund can be a lifesaver when life throws you curveballs.
Thus, go ahead and discuss how much you’ll contribute to this fund regularly. It’s like having a safety net to dance on!
12. Consider Health and Wellness
Taking care of yourself is like planting seeds for a beautiful garden. You are expected to water it with good food, exercise, and self-care.
When you prioritize your health, you’re not just doing it for yourself but for your partner too. It’s like two trees leaning on each other for support during a storm.
Now, let’s zoom in on mental health. When you and your partner prioritize mental well-being, you build a solid emotional connection – like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together.
Nurturing your physical and emotional well-being makes you become a team that can conquer any loop-de-loop thrown your way.
Regular check-ups and screenings may not be thrilling, but they’re like routine maintenance for your health engine. You want to ensure your bodies are in tip-top shape to enjoy all the adventures life has in store for you.
Speaking of adventures, how about trying out new activities together? Exploring health and wellness together can be fun and strengthen your bond.
And don’t forget the power of rest and relaxation. In this fast-paced world, finding moments to unwind and recharge is essential.
13. Address Past Baggage
Addressing past baggage is not just about sharing emotional scars; it’s also about celebrating the victories and growth from those experiences.
It’s akin to taking a walk down memory lane and realizing how far you’ve come. You’ll find that your partner’s love and support are like the wind beneath your wings, helping you soar.
Addressing such past baggage is not a one-time task. It takes time, patience, and a whole lot of understanding to navigate through past traumas and insecurities.
As you share your fears and vulnerabilities, you’ll find that emotional connection, like a strong bond that ties you together.
Addressing past baggage can also be liberating, like lifting a weight off your shoulders.
And hey, let’s not forget the power of empathy. By showing empathy and support, you create a safe space to heal wounds and grow together.
14. Discuss Cultural and Religious Beliefs
Sharing stories about your family traditions and spiritual journeys is all about understanding each other’s backgrounds and finding common ground.
Cultural and religious beliefs can be likened to embroidery woven from the threads of history, values, and customs.
And open-mindedness is the secret sauce here. Being open to learning about each other’s cultural and religious practices can be eye-opening, like discovering new flavours that make your relationship even more flavorful.
But hold up – let’s not ignore the potential clashes in your beliefs that may occur.
It’s crucial to address these differences early on and discuss how they might impact your relationship and future.
In all, discussing cultural and religious beliefs can lead to a stronger connection.
Understanding and supporting each other’s values can create a bond that’s as solid as a constellation in the night sky.
15. Support Each Other’s Passions
Supporting each other’s passions is the rocket fuel that propels your relationship to new heights!
Supporting each other’s passions is about being each other’s biggest fans and lifting each other up.
It’s not just about saying, “You go, girl!” It’s like being a personal assistant, making sure your partner has all the tools and encouragement they need to soar.
Life might throw some loops your way, but with each other’s support, you’ll ride through them like thrill-seekers on an amusement park adventure.
Now, here’s the secret ingredient: enthusiasm! Your genuine excitement for each other’s passions is like adding extra sprinkles to an already delicious ice cream cone.
But guess what? You don’t have to be experts in each other’s fields to be supportive. It’s about being there, asking questions, and showing interest, even if you have no clue what “neuroscience” or “modern art” means.
Concluding Thoughts
In all, communication seems to be the topmost or numero uno amongst each of the best points listed above!
You have to be on the same wavelength, speaking the language of understanding and empathy.
Bear in mind that a strong connection comes from listening to each other with more than just your ears.
I hope these 15 things we’ve explored are the paintbrushes that’ll make your dream come to life!
Just before you go, kindly leave a comment below to let me know your thoughts about this ride!
And feel free to forward the post to your friends and loved ones.
Bye for now!
