3 SUPER LIES ABOUT BEING WITH THE RIGHT LOVER


To help relationships to not fall short of their many-a-bliss, I take time to read posts by other bloggers and then bring out the limitations in them (if there is any). Some of what I am about to share with you here are lies cum limitations that flood some articles on relationships.

Ideally, there are many things you must see in your lover, before you can make a lifetime conclusion on whether he or she is the right one for you or not; not the lies you are about to read shortly.

Patiently read this short story

Maxwell and Florence used to be high school lovers; theirs was a relationship envied by all; it seemed made from heaven, or something closer.

People who were jealous observed from afar. And those who truly appreciated got close to them enough to learn. Florence had no reason to have any ill feelings about Maxwell because, perfection was all written on him. He was such a guy that could file a lawsuit against a mosquito for biting her. Funny, you’ll say

And Florence was wonderful on her part. A take home to mama was she and even more. Beautiful, elegant, outstanding, a wife material, down-to-earth? She has been even more since the start of the relationship. Simply put, the relationship was gorgeous!

Maxwell is a decorated banker today; he excelled in every way. And as expected, he’s with the lady of his dream – Florence. It was a glorious wedding that they had. Florence is the Managing Director of a well-known firm – she commands money!

Unfortunately, however, they are heading to court today.

Every Jack, Francis and Mabel that envied them is raising eyebrows now. They are all surprised. They had thought this marriage was destined for the moon, and not the court. And it’s barely 6months of marriage. What could have gone awry?

They had shared everything, always talking to each other, and about each other. And ultimately, they seemed to have accepted each other as the best the other can be. Could this have been an assumption? Could this have been wrong signs of a relationship that’s wired to last?

Why is this proving to be the start of the demoralizing means which justified their unhappy end; why would they have woken up to the shame of their lives this day? Isn’t there a way back to the lovely moments they both enjoyed? Or why wouldn’t they just pick the broken pieces and make of them a mold that would stand the test of time?

Questions are more than answers. Answers courts wouldn’t even unveil; courts only give verdicts.

Are you still there?

I can see you sigh and even shake your head a little, even though this might be like one of those stories you see in the films or one of those you read in romance novels. No matter how this appears to you, it is not far from reality. Agreed?

Then, it is disheartening – and even worse – to see a great relationship or marriage crumble. And even more grieving to note that this happens every day. Sometimes, I wouldn’t just help but cry a little when I hear about a breakup or divorce. Why? Because another piece has been added to the devil’s success list. I sigh!

I wish I just can help everyone, every relationship enough. I wish every relationship would have a happy ending. More of perpetual bliss is what I wish every relationship enjoy, even when it is obvious that many would soon fall victim of this horrific circumstance. It is such a horrible experience. I pray you will never be a victim. Amen?

While I struggle so hard to believe why breakups and divorce happen, I wouldn’t be blinded to visible reasons why many have been – and some will still be – victims of this ill-fated venture.

The causes of heartbreaks therefore, is not far from lies people (including you) have believed ahead of marriages.

Now, let us consider the following lies…

Lie #3: That He or She is the one you share (almost) everything with.

That he or she is the go to person when any challenges arise doesn’t mean such deserves to go down the aisle with you; at least a friend could be in such a position. It is nothing to share your challenges with your lover. If you like, open up all that makes you human unto a man or woman, it doesn’t guarantee such person to not look at you one day and ask arrogantly that you sever all romantic ties between you two.

It is not enough to share your secrets, challenges, problems and fears with your lover.

The only thing that matters is what he or she would do about whatever you tell him or her. It is how he or she takes what you make them know that really is important. Handling resources and information well is what makes an outstanding lover! Isn’t that who you are? Mwah.

Lie #2: That He or She calls you all day, especially when you need it.

To me, only those who are shallow in their thoughts would take this hook line and sinker. It is sometimes funny how what make up a relationship are the very things that break it apart. That he calls you every second, every minute, and every hour of the day doesn’t guarantee a green card of bliss in relationship. It only takes a mental shift to get rid of your intimate feelings from his or her heart. That is not my wish – for you – though.

And what would you say? Over my dead body!

That He doesn’t call you like you expect doesn’t make a congenital failure of Him. He might not have grown up that way. Making Him or Her know how you are to be loved would save your relationship from a bitter experience of heartbeat.

Many relationships used to enjoy best of communication as if they owned the best of service provider in the world. And if you look at them now, all those are gone. The Sugar in my tea, the cockroach in my cupboard, the traffic light on my path, the cerebrum in my brain…? All those would be the thing of the past if care is not taken. Proper care. If you are still doubting this, just ask around.

Lie #1: That He or She takes you just the way you are.

If you are a student of history, you must have learnt that the only constant thing in life is Change. He doesn’t see one or two things you could do better, because you are his Miss perfection? She doesn’t point at areas in your life where you need some improvements, because you are her Mr. right? That might be a track that leads to a dead end, someday.

If you care to know, environment changes us, like family and the society at large do. Our plans and goals do the same. Then, for him or her to leave you in your moral ruins could only mean that you have been set like a timed bomb for destruction.

Let me help you more.

While writing this piece, a friend of mine called and I decided to share this article with her. Surprisingly, she said, “Why would taking you just the way you are be a lie?” I was shocked! Even “shocker” if you would permit me to use that home-made English word.

This is what I told her…

No matter how good you think you are, your lover wouldn’t like at least one percent of you. It is a process of two becoming one, remember. The ideas, goals, dreams, aspirations, projections you once had might not just be something he or she would wholly agree to. Your tradition, your way of life, even the way you dress, walk or eat might just be what he or she doesn’t like. So, watch it when he or she says, you are the perfect match “forever!!!” I cannot stress that enough.

[dt_quote type=”pullquote” layout=”right” font_size=”big” animation=”none” size=”1″]“The relationship that cannot make you better is waiting to make you bitter – Olalekan Adebumiti” click to tweet[/dt_quote]

Over to you. What other lies do you think people have believed as regards having the right one for them in a relationship?

Do you have some contributions? You probably might have questions and I will be here to answer them.

Use the comment box below to share your thoughts. Thanks.

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